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What's the fun in that?
And on the 8th day God said..."Let there be angst...and romance...and..."
I've closed my heart down
so many seasons
I didn't want to hurt again
I didn't want to try
So I turned myself to ice and stone
Said I don't need anyone
And nobody else would ever make me cry...
Maybe It's Love by Trisha Yearwood
Chapter Ten
Bo had been standing on the cottage porch long enough to spot Nora on the beach with Matthew. Before he had a chance to make his way down to her, he saw a jogger approach and take a seat beside her on the blanket. He watched as they talked and laughed together and the man played with Matthew. His heart sank. Perhaps he was too late.
Then he saw the man motion toward the porch and Nora looked up. She had seen him. He saw her lift baby Matthew out of his seat and slowly make her way toward the cottage, her eyes on him. His heart was racing. Calm down, Buchanan, he told himself.
It didn’t take long for Nora to reach the cottage porch.
Bo spoke first, “Nora…”
“Bo…. What are you doing here? How did you find me?” she asked hastily. Matthew started fussing, so she bounced him on her hip trying to calm him.
“It’s a long story...I came to talk with you…”
By this time, Kyle had made his way to the porch bringing everything Nora had left behind; the blanket, bouncer, and bag. He placed them all on the porch before extending a hand to Bo.
“Kyle Westyn,” he introduced himself.
Bo shook his hand, “Bo Buchanan.”
“Nice meeting you...I think,” Kyle said trying to get his queue from Nora. By this time Matthew had worked himself into some real tears. He was crying loudly as she tried to soothe him.
Kyle looked at Nora, “Everything alright, Nora? Do you need me to stay?”
She glanced at him. “No, Kyle. Everything will be fine.”
“Ok, then. If you’re sure, I’ll be going. Call if you need me.”
“I will. Thanks.”
Kyle turned and headed back to the beach to continue his run.
Nora turned to Bo, the screaming baby on her hip. “Bo...obviously this is a bad time...Matthew’s tired and…”
“Please, Nora. I’ve come a long way. We need to talk. I can wait here til he’s settled…”
“Bo...it’s going to be awhile. He needs a bath and bottle and to be tucked in. It’s a lengthy routine sometimes.”
“I don’t mind waiting. Please…”
She looked at him. “Alright. I’ll be back in a little while.”
Her hands trembled as she went through their familiar nightly ritual. Matthew could feel the tension in her and had trouble relaxing. Finally, they both calmed down a bit when his jammies were on and she was seated in the nursery rocker. She held him as he held his bottle and peered up at her. He lifted one hand up to her face and waited for her to kiss it...a game they played every night at bedtime. She did so as he smiled behind the bottle's nipple...
“Oh, sweet boy. I love you so much. More than anything...or anyone,” she whispered. I have to remember that when I talk to Bo tonight, she thought. I have to remember my resolve...that Matthew is what counts...whatever is best for Matthew...
Still, when she thought about Bo waiting on her porch...she had to admit, her heart skipped a beat.
* * * * * * *
When Matthew was sleeping soundly, Nora tied the sash to her cover-up and went to the screen door. Bo was standing by the porch rail looking out at the dark sea.
“I’m going to have a glass of wine. Would you like something?” she asked him.
He turned to her. “Whatever you’re having is fine. Thanks.”
She returned a few moments later and handed him a glass. She sat down on the glider opposite him and curled her feet up under her comfortably. She took a sip of her wine before asking him again.
“So...how did you find me? Rachel is the only one who knew where I was, and I asked her…”
“Don’t worry. Your daughter didn’t betray your confidence. I got the forwarding address from the post office…”
“How? I had that information under ‘private’.”
“The clerk was careless and I saw the ledger,” Bo admitted.
“That’s illegal,” Nora said.
“So...are you going to turn me in?” he asked her looking into her eyes.
“I should,” she said looking back at him, “but I won’t this time.” She shook her head at him and smiled slightly.
“Thank God...there’s a trace of a smile. I was beginning to fear for my safety,” he grinned back.
She smiled with him, then looked at him seriously. “What are you doing here, Bo?”
He sighed. “Well...obviously I came searching for you,” he said quietly. “I wanted to make sure you’re alright. It’s not like you just to up and leave town...”
“Well...for your information, I didn’t just ‘up and leave’, Bo. I gave this decision a lot of thought. I looked for a location and employment and...this is where I landed.”
Bo shrugged, “So...you couldn’t stand to even live in the same town with me?” he asked.
“I didn’t leave because of you,” she said, which was only partially true. “I left because I thought it was best for me and for my son. We’re starting over.”
“Just the two of you? Or is it...the three of you?”
“By three, are you referring to Kyle? Kyle is just a friend.”
“Well...I can cross that question off my list then,” he said sounding relieved. “But, by ‘three’ I was referring to Sam.”
“Just Matthew and I. I told you awhile back, Sam and I ...we’re finished.”
“Doesn’t he come to see Matthew?”
She looked out over the water. “He doesn’t know where we are. I asked Sam to give us some space, and he has been good about that."
Bo thought for a moment. “I can’t believe he doesn’t want to spend time with his child…” he commented.
“Well...when he got into this situation, he really didn’t think he would be spending time with his child…” Bo looked away from her. She continued, “I asked him to give us some space. He wasn’t happy, but he agreed.” She looked at him. “Why do I feel like I’m getting the third degree?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just that I have all these questions racing through my mind…”
“Well, it’s my turn now. What about you? I’m sure Lindsay was thrilled when you told her you were going to search for me,” she said sarcastically.
Bo looked down and rubbed a shoe across the sandy porch. “Lindsay and I aren’t together. I broke it off awhile back.”
“What happened?” Nora asked quietly.
“I didn’t...care for Lindsay. To be completely truthful...I never cared for Lindsay. I was just hurting and didn’t want to be alone...so...I went to Lindsay for... “comfort”... and out of spite.” Bo hung his head.
“As I thought...I hurt you by going to Sam. You wanted to hurt me back…so you slept with Lindsay.” In spite of her best resolve, her eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t speak for the lump in her throat.
“Red, I know now that it was one of the the biggest mistakes of my life.”
She brushed a stray tear away. “Well...it’s a little late to figure that out now, isn’t it?”
He looked at her intently. “I don’t know,” he said softly as he shrugged. “Is it?”
He sat down in the chair across from her but kept his head down hands folded in front of him.
After a few silent moments, Nora spoke, “Bo, you said you came to see if I’m alright. Now you know that I am. What else do you want from me?”
He looked up slowly. “You have asked me several times to forgive you. I want to tell you that...I’ve forgiven you for Sam. As hard as it has been for me to grasp...I know you did what you did... because you loved me... and felt desperate.”
The rest of the tears in Nora’s eyes spilled over onto her cheeks. “You forgive me?”
Bo nodded. “Yes,” he said having difficulty controlling his own emotions. “But,” he continued quietly, “I need to ask you something... Can you forgive me? For being stubborn and unforgiving... and judgmental? You asked what I wanted. I wanted to see if you were alright and to ask forgiveness for my part in this...and I hope we can put everything behind us...at least be friends again...what do you think, Red?”
When she regained her composure, “I’d like that," she said softly.
“And...you forgive me...for my part in this?” he asked.
She spoke an almost imperceptible, “Yes.”
“I really need to hear you say it.”
After a brief pause she said, “I forgive you, Bo.”
“Thanks...I’m relieved to hear you say that.” He heaved a sigh. “It’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, you know?”
She smiled. “Mine too.”
He moved to sit next to her on the glider. After a few awkward moments he said, “Now can we...begin again...and just talk? I’ll go first. How are you? You look rested and have a tan going on. Beach life must agree with you.”
She sipped her wine and smiled at him starting to relax. “It does. My life here is not as demanding or stressful. Fairly simple, really.”
“What are you doing now?”
“I’m teaching at the University...ethics and law courses. I have 421 students that I see on a weekly basis. Some of the classes are only 40 or so students, but one is in a lecture hall with at least four times that many. It has been interesting.”
“Sounds like you like it. Is it a permanent position?” he asked looking back out at the waves.
“Not yet. I am replacing someone for at least this semester, maybe next. Time will tell. So, between fixing this place up and starting a new job and making time for Matthew, I’ve been busy. What about you? How are things at the station?”
“Oh...crazy as usual. You know how that place is. I took a little time off recently. I went to see Mick…”
“Your old Vietnam buddy?”
“Right.”
“And how is Mick?”
“He’s doing pretty well. He’s a grandpa now, so he’s pretty happy about that. We had a good visit. And then last weekend I went to the Ranch for a few days.”
“Really?” Nora asked smiling. “How is everyone? And how is Maggie?”
“They’re all doing fine; and Maggie is older, but she’s still the same spitfire she’s always been,” Bo said shaking his head.
“That doesn’t surprise me.” Nora smiled as she remembered the old lady. She looked at Bo out of the corner of her eye. “She’s my hero, you know. I want to be just like Maggie when I grow up.”
Bo laughed, “Ohhh-ho” he said laughing. “Don’t worry...you’ll make it. You’re not that far off…”
She gave him a look. “I don’t know how to take that, Buchanan…”
“Then take it in the manner it was given,” he said grinning at her “...as a compliment.”
She continued to give him ‘the look’. He couldn’t stifle his laugh.
She smiled back at him shaking her head. Their eyes met and held for a brief moment.
Bo grew serious again. Still looking into her eyes he said, “I’m glad I came. It’s been good to clear the air...and to laugh with you again.”
“I’m glad you came too,” she responded. “I do feel much better about things.”
“That’s good." They sat in silence for a few moments just watching the waves roll in.
"Well….I suppose I should go,” said Bo rising. “I don’t want to keep you up too late. I’m not sure what time your little alarm clock goes off in the morning,” he said obviously referring to Matthew.
“You’re not heading back to Llanview at this hour, are you?”
“No,” Bo said. “I have a room in town. I’m heading back tomorrow. But…” he hesitated, “before I leave, I was thinking about going to see that lighthouse. Have you seen it?”
“Which one? There are two on the island...Block Island North and Block Island Southeast. The southeast lighthouse is closer…”
“That’s the one I saw advertised...Block Island Southeast Lighthouse. Have you been there?”
“Yes, once,” Nora replied. It was one of the excursions she had taken with Kyle. “It’s very interesting. You get there by ferry.”
“Sounds interesting,” he said. “I think I’ll try to see that before heading home tomorrow.” He stopped his slow progression off her porch and turned to face her. ‘Uhm…you wouldn’t want to be my tour guide, would you?” he asked hesitantly, “I mean...you know...if you don’t have too much to do…?”
Nora paused very briefly before saying, “Sure. I wouldn’t mind going again...and they have this great seafood diner not too far away...I’ll treat you to lunch before you make the trip home,” she said.
“Sounds good,” said Bo.
“There’s only one catch, Buchanan” she said pointing at him.
He stepped back looking surprised.
“You have to take turns carrying Matthew. I have a baby backpack, but it gets heavy after awhile. Deal?”
“I can manage that,” he said smiling. “Deal.”
“Ok...I believe the ferry leaves every hour on the hour. Meet me here at...10:30?”
“Sounds great. See you then.” He smiled. “Goodnight, Nora.”
“Goodnight, Bo
The first to apologize is the bravest
The first to forgive is the strongest
The first to forget is the happiest
~Unknown
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