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After Bo dropped Nora off at the house, he went down to his small fishing cabin and poured himself a drink, swallowed it in a single gulp, and then poured another.
His mind wouldn’t stop whirring, trying to process everything she’d said. She is happy, that’s the most important thing.
Then why did he feel like all the pain was bubbling up again? They’d separated because she’d lied about being pregnant. She pretended to pick out a name, and make plans for a life with their child, all for nothing. She’d tried to explain, but he couldn’t live with the deception, so he had shut her out. He was still dealing with Drew’s death, and when she’d told him the news that she hadn’t really been pregnant, his whole world turned upside down again.
He wouldn’t talk to her. Stubborn idiot! Just another stupid, stubborn, Buchanan man who wouldn’t even listen to what she was trying to tell him.
So, she left. The house, the town, even the state. Back to Chicago. Back to Sam? Maybe, he didn’t know, and wouldn’t let himself think about that.
He’d stayed in Llanview for about six months, angry and hateful towards anyone and everyone that crossed his path. His family had tried to intervene, but after a few broken crystal glasses and about thirty minutes of yelling, he’d left town, lost and looking for direction.
He’d looked up his old Army buddy, Johnny, and asked if he knew of any place he could hole up for a while. Johnny lived on the western side of the state and invited Bo to come out and visit, and let him stay at an old fishing cabin he owned.
Bo stayed at the cabin for about a month before Johnny made him start talking. After opening up to his friend, Bo eventually conceded to see a counselor to sort through all the emotions. He was able to see that he did have a part to play in his and Nora’s break up.
Over time, he settled in, and the land where the old fishing cabin became Shady Lake Summer Camp for Boys. Bo funded the improvements the land required, but Johnny managed the construction and established most of the programs.
Regarding the state of his heart, even though his counselor had encouraged him to move past the painful separation, Bo opted to keep that time in his life as a fond memory. No, he wouldn’t have Nora to grow old and gray with, but he thought of her often, and warmly. Nora had been everything to him, and his own foolish bullheadedness made her go away. It had never occurred to him to try to find her or get in touch with her, but as a final gesture to her, a few years into the camp operating in the black, he built a home called Redhaven, named for the love of his life, and built with her in mind.
He spent his days fishing, helping out at the camp where he could, and mainly keeping to himself. Johnny’s wife and kids were around if he needed a bit of a connection, but he also had visited Llanview a few times and made amends with his own family.
And then, out of nowhere, she came back into his life. Or, actually he thought, her son did.
Matthew really was a great kid. At least he wasn’t blond, and his name wasn’t Rappaport, so that was something. It doesn’t mean Sam isn’t his father though, Bo thought to himself.
As he turned off the lantern and laid back in his bed, Bo let his mind wander through the last few days, and after a while fell into a fitful sleep.
*******************
Matthew cupped his hands and peered in the window to the Major’s cabin. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be here, but he had a feeling something was off the last time he’d talked to the Major, and he wanted to make sure the man he considered a friend was okay.
He couldn’t see anything, but decided to knock anyway. After a loud groan and a few shuffling sounds he heard a voice call out that he’d be there in a second.
“Hey, Matthew! It’s a little early, isn’t it?”
“Well, you’re usually up by now, so I thought maybe we could hang out, if you’re not busy doing something else.”
Everything from his past conversations with the kid changed, now that he knew Nora was his mother. Even though he had played the grumpy old man more than few times over the years to intimidate some of the campers, he found himself replying, “Sure, kid. Give me a few minutes to clean up. I’ll meet you down at the water.”
Matthew smiled and nodded, and headed down toward the dock. After about ten minutes, the Major joined him. By greeting, he handed him a granola bar, and gave a quick smile. “Wasn’t sure if you’d had breakfast yet.”
“I hadn’t, thanks!” Matthew replied.
The older man sat down next to the boy on the edge of the dock and looked out across the water. “So, what should we talk about today?”
“How about some more about Red?”
“I think you already know more than you should, why don’t you tell me about you? What do you like? What’s your favorite food? Do you play sports?”
“I love pizza, hanging out with my friends, baseball. I don’t play as much as I’d like to, but I like watching it. I like to play video games and I read some.”
“You have any pets?”
“No, though I wish I did. I’d love to have a dog, but mom says it’s not fair to keep a dog locked up in an apartment all day.”
“Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Dogs like to run around and play.”
“You sound like my mom, but I would take him out all the time, and to play in the park. haven’t given up yet, I just need to wear her down.”
Bo shook his head at Matthew’s enthusiasm, just like Nora. “So, what’s your dad like? You mentioned your mom, but I can’t remember what you told me about your dad.” Bo hoped the question sounded more casual out loud than it did in his head. He did remember Matthew talking about his dad, but that was before he knew Nora was his mom.
“I don’t know my dad.”
“Right, that’s what you said before, I forgot. You don’t seem very sad about that.”
“I guess I’m not. I’ve never met him. Hard to miss what you’ve never had. My mom has told me that he’s a good guy but that he can’t be with us. She talks about him all the time, how much I remind her of him, how much she loves him. Anyway, we have lots of family friends that help me out if I have guy kinds of questions. Kinda like you do here.”
Bo smiled, “I don’t talk to everyone, but you’re an okay kid.”
It was a natural opportunity to let go of the topic, but Bo couldn’t bring himself to do it. “Does he live in Chicago?”
“I don’t think so, but I guess he could. Major, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think it’s weird that I don’t miss my dad? I mean, some of my friends have cool dads that do stuff with, but I have friends that do stuff with me too. But some of my friends have mean dads. I used to think that I wanted to meet my dad, but what if he’s one of the mean ones?”
“I’d like to tell you your dad would be a great guy and never raise his voice or make you do things you didn’t want to do, but in my experience, parents sometimes have to be the tough guy to make sure their kids learn the things they’re supposed to. That’s what being a parent is all about.”
“Huh, I guess I never thought about it like that. Do you have any kids?”
“I did, a son, but he died a long time ago. I didn’t know him very well though because his mom kept him away from me.”
“What?! Why would she do that?”
“That’s a good question. I’m sure she had her reasons, but I lost out on a lot of his life.”
“Was that Red?”
“No, no, my son was almost grown by the time I met Red.”
“Oh, well that’s good.”
“Why would you say that?”
“You obviously still love Red, and it would be hard to love someone if she’d hurt you like that. I thought maybe that was why you weren’t together.”
“Enough with the Red questions, kid. Let’s get back to you. What if you got the chance to meet your dad, what would you say?”
“I never really thought about it.” It was Matthew’s turn to stare out over the water. “I guess I would say, “Mr. Bo Buchanan, my name is Matthew Hanen, and I’m your son.”
To be continued...
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