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Squirrely Love
Nick Wolfe yawned as he let himself into the house. He had spent too many hours on surveillance, too much bad coffee and no success. His eyes felt gritty with fatigue and he knew he needed a shower and sleep. Pouring himself a good slug of Scotch, he thought perhaps he would work out the kinks of all that time sitting before the shower and sleep, but the deep leather chair in front of the window beckoned. It wouldn’t hurt to sit with his drink for just a few minutes, would it?
Sipping the mellow liquid, movement in the bare January trees caught his attention. A line of squirrels chased each other in a rodent parade. Through the shrubbery, up and down the tree trunks in dizzy figure eights, out onto limbs to make daring leaps to other branches. Mesmerized by the wild antics and soothed by the Scotch, Nick felt his eyes fall closed. He slept.
*****
Amanda kicked off her shoes, “Come here, Big Boy,” she teased, sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning back, supporting herself on her arms. Her eyes flashed, her smile was inviting. No hetero male could resist.
Nick certainly had no intentions of resisting. Tossing off his jacket, pulling his shirt loose from his pants, he bent down to kiss those red lips, his hands urging her back among the pillows as he knelt over her. Nibbling, hands straying, his breath coming in short gasps…
“No!” A voice roared as the door flew open. “She’s mine!”
Amanda peered over Nick’s shoulder. “Derek?” she asked.
Nick looked back to see Derek Markham, Amanda’s husband standing in the doorway, lust on his face, a sword in his hand. Springing up from the bed, he grabbed his own blade. “Get out, Markham,” he ordered. “She’s mine now.” He charged at Markham.
“Oh no, you young pup. She married me, uh…” Forced backwards by Nick’s onrush, he looked up, working out the math in his head. “One hundred and forty-three years ago. Next spring that is.” He thrust the sword at Nick, who parried neatly, lunged and watched as Markham lost his balance and tumbled down the stairs. Nick rushed after him, picking up his lifeless body and throwing him out of the front door, which he locked.
“I’m coming,” he called, taking the stairs three at a time.
“I hope not yet,” called Amanda, who had used the time to divest herself of most of her clothing.
Nick tossed his sword into the corner, pushed off his shoes and socks and ripped his shirt off. “Where were we?” he asked unnecessarily as he nuzzled her neck, his hands caressing her smooth skin. Her lips found his and he felt alive.
“Unhand her, you lout!” Once more the door crashed open, the lock breaking. “Amanda, come with me. We will go to the court of Queen Mary and steal the crown jewels!”
Nick looked back. “Jeremy Dexter? Can’t you see we’re a little busy here?”
“You don’t deserve her, you, you Policeman, you! She’s a free spirit and a thief. Your relationship can never work. She was born for a life on the other side of the law. With me!” With a flourish, Jeremy strode over to the bed and poked Nick with his sword.
“I’ll be right back,” Nick promised Amanda. “Don’t go away.”
“This can’t continue,” said Amanda a little testily. As much as she liked the attention of men, this coitus interruptus was irritating. Pulling the sheet over herself, she pouted.
“You heard the lady,” said Nick, picking up his sword. “Get out!” With giant steps, he engaged Dexter with his weapon, the two men fighting their way round and round the room, out the door and up and down the long hallway. Lunge, thrust, parry. Twirl, step, clang. Back up the hall and down the stairs. Nick advanced as Dexter retreated, right out the open front door. Nick slammed the door shut, locked it and put on the chain. Let him try to get through that. Leaning briefly on the closed door, he waited for his heart to slow slightly before walking up the stairs.
Back in the bedroom, he pulled a heavy chair in front of the door, removed his pants and joined Amanda under the covers. “We’re all alone now,” he whispered into her hair, kissing the pout away, touching her in ways guaranteed to make her forget the delays. “Nothing can stop us now.”
Amanda was not one to hold out too long and was participating enthusiastically. Nick had just removed her skimpy top releasing her magnificent…
Splintering sounds broke into their bliss. “Ha! Thought you could keep me out!” Never!”
Nick dropped his head for a moment, wondering what he had done to deserve this. He looked over at the man who had broken the panel of the door and was now clambering over the chair. “Who the hell are you?” he asked.
“Cory!” answered Amanda.
“You know a lot of men,” grumbled Nick, rolling out from under the sheets. To Cory he said, “Listen pal, I don’t know who you are or what your history is with Amanda, but right now, she’s mine. So get out.”
“But, but…” said Cory, grinning boyishly. He did not appear to carry a sword, but was quick. He evaded Nick and darted over to the bed. With Nick in pursuit, he scampered over the bed, but the business end of Nick’s sword in his backside sent him diving over the chair and through the door again.
Nick was right behind him, following him down the stairs. “How did you get in?” Nick looked at the still-closed door.
“Right there.” said Cory, pointing to the open window. One minute later, Cory was defenestrated through that convenient aperture which slammed behind him.
Nick trudged up the stairs in his boxer shorts, his sword drooping in his hand. “This shouldn’t be this difficult,” he muttered, crawling through the bedroom door.
Amanda was putting her top on. “No, no, no,” said Nick reviving. “You don’t want to do that.” He tripped on his way back to the bed, but got up and crawled back beneath the sheets, leaving his underwear on the floor.
“But you seem so busy,” protested Amanda. “You don’t seem to have the time for me.” Her big brown eyes captivated him; her movements against him stirred him back to action.
“Oh, but I do.” With renewed energy, he enthusiastically reached for her, determined to finish this time.
It was not to be.
Sensing another suitor, Nick turned his head to see a deadly-looking katana inches from his nose. He turned back to Amanda who shrugged her shoulders at him. “This isn’t ever going to end is it? No matter how many guys I fight off, it’s just not going to happen.”
“I didn’t think you were a quitter. A girl likes to be wooed,” said Amanda.
“Excuse me; I’m Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. Now give me satisfaction.” The tall man spoke.
“Listen pal, I’ve been trying to give Amanda here satisfaction, and that’s enough for me. You’ll have to find your satisfaction elsewhere.” Nick tumbled out of bed, his sword already in his fist. “Let’s go pal.”
“You’re naked!” exclaimed Duncan averting his eyes. “Put your pants on man!”
“It took a long time for me to get to this point. Once I’m done with you, I don’t want to waste any time getting back to it. Now do you want to talk, do you want to fight or are you going to be a gentleman and get out?” Nick swayed a little on his feet.
“I canna fight a man who is naked!” In his embarrassment, Duncan’s Scottish burr became more pronounced. He backed up and lowered his sword.
“Why not?” asked Nick. He advanced menacingly towards this latest intruder.
“It’s not right,” said Duncan keeping his eyes firmly on Nick’s face. When he backed into the broken chair, he shoved to one side and kept backing out of the room.
“Then get out!” shouted Nick as Duncan retreated down the stairs.
“That does it. You’re all mine now,” he said triumphantly going back into the room with a bounce in his step and a gleam in his eye.
“Oh, Nick,” said Amanda.
“Yes, Amanda, I’m right here and ready,” answered Nick.
“Nick!” Her voice was more insistent this time.
“All right, all right. Don’t hurry me,” said Nick. “Slow down…”
“Nick!” Almost yelling.
Such passion! Nick smiled when she thumped his shoulder. But something wasn’t right. Nick opened his eyes to see Amanda, but not a naked Amanda. No, this was a dressed Amanda, with amusement, not passion in her eyes.
“Care to share?” she asked.
Nick looked outside where the female squirrel was sitting coyly at the top of the willow tree while one black male rebuffed the advances of four other males; one of them a big grey. He grinned. “No, I don’t think so. But, are you free for dinner tonight?”
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