I was concerned about "meeting" my new great-nephew Eli but I guess the heart knows family. My nephew was terrified about how I'd react and I could tell so I just went with what felt "right".

I grabbed him in a big hug & said "Nice to meet ya, Eli!!!" And then we started in on a totally geek discussion of what sci fi/fantasy films we'd seen recently. Just like I always did with Sarah....

I also got to meet his partner and since I don't believe in beating around the bush, I just said "Okay, I'm old & I'm still gonna screw it up but who gets what pronoun????" That made them laugh but they explained their pronoun ussage & assured me that if I screwed up, they woudln't hold it against me - it's only when people intentionally misgender them that they get upset.

I bet we sat & talked for the better part of an hour. Music. Movies. Sci fi books. Sociology. Anthropology. Archaeology. And they're gonna try to come see me sometime. I told 'em I'll provide the wine & cheese and to "come on down."

That night, when the karaoke started, Eli's partner (who's very shy, they're actually on the autism spectrum but super super intelligent at the same time - they taught themselves to read Latin ON THEIR OWN so they could read original Latin manuscripts for a research project) was basially hiding behind my brother & then when he got up, my niece yanked his chair out of the way & dragged them up with the rest of us. Since my censor button doesn't know when to say quit, I piped off of with "You're sure out of teh closet now!!!!!!" My brother choked on his beer. My nephew clutched his chest like Fred Sanford. And some fruity drink may have spewed out of Eli's nose at that point & he laughed until I thought he was going to fall over. His partner looked horrified for a few seconds & then realized I was joking and started laughing too.

They both gave me a big hug when I left that evening.

Ya know, I can't comprehend what has driven them to embrace a different gender (and go through the medical treatments to achieve the one they identify with) but aside from the beard, short hair, tattoos, and masculine voice, the young person I knew as Sarah was still there. The personality was the same, although MUCH more relaxed and confident than I had EVER seen.

And they're family. And I love them.

Oh and late in the evening, after the fireworks has been blow up, and the karaoke had settled down to mellow, I noticed Eli and his partner standing off to the side, holding each other & just swaying to the music. Very sweet!!! And then I happened t glance at Eli's mom and she looked like she was going to cry. I went over & put an arm around her & she said "I miss my daughter so much!!!!!" I told her it was okay to grieve, after all, she knew Sarah for well over 20 years & has only known Eli for 2 or 3... It seemed to help. I dunno. I can't imagine trying to get a grip on that as a parent....