Two were friends from my old 4-H days when we served on the State 4-H Teen Council together. That was 45 years ago, folks!!! And we hadn't seen each other since.... Yeah, we've exchanged messages a few times thru Facebook but actually in person. Nope. Nada.

Anyway, I was blown away that they came... One drove almost 3 hours each way to be there for me. Y'all don't know how much that meant...

We decided it wasn't gonna be another 45 years right then & there and today we're all getting together in Lexington for lunch. It will be strange because we aren't the same people we were back then but so soooo good to reconnect.

Another face from the past was more awkward. I think I've mentioned that my absolute best friend in high school was a young man I shared a birthday with. We grew up less than 2 miles from each other, were in school together from kindergarten on, shared birthday parties, and (at least from my perspective) were essentially siblings. I loved him like a brother. Until I walked in one day to find him & my mom planning the house he was going to build next door for us when we got married. HOLD THE DA** HORSES!!!! Who said anything about getting married?!?!?! We werent' even dating!!!!

That put a huge damper on our friendship and then a couple of years later, I walked away from it completely when he called the night before he was to marry another good friend of mine, saying it wasn't too late, that he could still "leave that wh***", and we could still be together. I hated it but I couldn't be friends with him AT ALL after that and I knew his wife was aware of how he felt and I wouldn't do that to her (she was a good, good person) so I gave up her friendship as well.

They went on for him to have a career in the Navy, raised 4 kids, and then about 10 years ago he walked out on her one day. Said he'd never loved her and he'd had enough. She thought he'd come after me again.... After all those years.... I got one helluva nasty phone call from her & it took close to half an hour for me to convince her I had nothing to do with it, I didn't know where he was, I hadn't talked to him 30+ years, etc. And I was shocked a few months later to see (from creeping their Facebook pages) that they were back together.

ANYWAY (back story finished finally), his wife came to John's funeral. I didn't even recognize her at first... And she came to tell me that he (Tony) was dying from lung cancer and that he wanted her to come & ask me to see him before he passed. That she knows he'd always loved me & that she just wanted his last days to be as happy as they could be.

I didn't know what to even say.... There I was, absolutley messed up in grief from losing the love of my life, and she brings in all that drama... I finally managed to tell her that I was sorry but that I couldn't do that, that I had too much on my plate, was emotionally wrecked, and that I respected her too much to do that. She left unhappy that I wouldn't even consider it...

Last night, I had a text message on my phone saying that he'd died.

I don't even know how to feel about it. He WAS my best friend for a long time BUT that was a long time ago & his obsession made it impossible for me to continue to be any part of his life. I said my goodbyes to him 40-some years ago after that late night phone call before his wedding.

***sigh*** Is it any wonder this whole thing has set me off crying again????? Both for John and for an old friend.... I've gotta get it together before I head to Lexington.