He's acting out due to all the crap that's gone down over the past few months.

Baby Hayden is doing GREAT! He's sooooo tiny & will likely be in NICU another month but he's gained back the weight that he lost, the supplemental oxygen is as low as it can go, and he's doing a pretty good job of regularing his own body temperature. Man, it's scary looking at him in that box with all the stuff hooked up to him though!

Matt has another week and a half off work so they're being able to juggle things fairly well so far. Kate has a follow up with her OB tomorrow and Owen has his appt with Shriner's so we'll see how those go.

As for me... I'm struggling a bit. Things my memory had suppressed in the interest of getting everthing taken care of after John died are now starting to pop up mulitple times a day, leaving me crying helplessly. Y'all those last few weeks were BAD. Unspeakably bad. And if I could erase those memories permanently I would. But... I can't and I'll just have to learn to live with them.

I've still got to deal with John's pension from Citibank, his Deferred Comp account with the state, and social security but honestly, those aren't going to amount to much so they aren't freaking me out. All the big ones are accounted for & my financial planner has kept me sane figuring out what to put where. I meet with her again tomorrow.

Thursday, if the weather cooperates, I'll be heading to L'ville to spend the night with T & Meg and go to to the Lou City vs Lex soccer game. I really hope it doesn't storm because I need some good fun chaos for a few hours!

Work on the house has begun... The guys dug out my water line yesterday & lo and behold found the leak I'd tried telling every plumber in the county was there. And these guys aren't even plumbers... But they fixed it up & will be back whenever the weather cooperates to dig a diversion trench across the front yard to try to keep the water from getting to the house. Another guy is supposed to be here tomorrow or Friday to replace the gutters across the front.

Once the baseement area that was affected by the leak dries out, I'm going to start emptying the canning kitchen so we can look into gettign supports built for the wall that is failing. I worked on it some yesterday morning but it was just nasty wet still so I'll wait.

Matt is askign around to try to find me someone to hire to do the mowing here. He & T can do the field area within the fence about once a month or so but I need someone who can do the main yard area weekly.

As I said, everything is starting to come together. It just leaves me more free time when the memories can get to be too much.