All my life, from childhood through now, I’ve been a kleptomaniac.

I worked at a bird sanctuary and we used the pages of this thing to line the cages, ‘cause the birds seemed to like crapping on the words.

Sure enough, I stole one.

Only when I got home and I tried to read it did I realize the error of my ways…

The content was pedantic, sophomoric and, worst of all, repetitive.

Even the reviews seem like they’re written by the same guy.

“Daniel Rhodes - Book Reviewer” - LOL.

His last name might be Rhodes, but I can tell you - he ain’t no scholar!

Anyway, I took it back to the bird sanctuary and gave it to Petey the Parrot.

It’s his favorite thing to crap on.

Thanks for solving my kleptomania, Jimmy!

Randolph Diamond
Cage Cleaner
Pat Parsons’ Parrot Paradise and Dispensary