“My Word As A Biden” Ugh................
As verified by Hunter (the smartest man I know, and with whom I definitely never, ever, ever talked about his business), the cancer victims I cured, Corn Pop, Golda Meir and of course Nelson Mandela, my son Beau (who died in the Gulf War), my Uncle Frank (to whom I awarded the Purple heart), all those students I taught for 4 years at UPenn, Chinese President Xi Jinping (with whom I traveled extensively), my fellow Naval Academy recruits, the recruiters for the NFL team I almost played for, that Amtrack guy, Big Mama and all the other big rig truckers, the fella that invented insulin, the Puerto Rican community that raised me, the friendly Rabbi at that Synagogue I visited, the welder whose major case I won against before I was even halfway through law school, all those folks I worked with at the GM and Chrysler factories in Detroit who got me through school, and don’t forget all those folks I put together and created NSTO when I was 7, the cops that arrested me at various civil rights protests, my entire class in law school that applauded me, the firefighters who were there when my house burned down and I almost lost (not necessarily in order of importance) my wife and my ‘67 Corvette (so I feel ya, Maui!), all those guys I beat when I was runner-up in football scoring, my theology professor named Reilly who was drafted by the Green Bay Packers, Strom Thurmond (who I talked into voting for the Civil Rights Bill 8 years before I became a Senator), the people from the town where I was born in Israel, French (or was it German?) Prime Minister Mitterand, whom I recently spoke to - despite him being dead since 1996, that guy who runs Samsung, all those others with me in the top half of my law school class (76th out of 85!), my freshman football coach, and not to mention all the people who saw me hit a homerun in the Congressional Baseball Game, despite the record showing that I went 0-2. And let’s not forget those good pilots of “Air Force One”who flew me to the hospital on George Bush’s orders - and don’t forget all those people on the trains with whom I commuted over the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore (which has no rail lines) - they’ll vouch for me, just like Vladimir Putin, whom I’ve known for over 40 years (since he was a young KGB agent) would! I just wish you could ask my Uncle, who was probably eaten by cannibals - he’d tell ya! NO JOKE. Hey, I don't work for you Jack.

C’mon, Man! Ignore all those other lying dog-faced pony soldiers!