Posted by Songbird on February 8, 2026, 12:47 pm
Quarterback Sneak
Church members quietly leaving during the altar call.
Halftime
The period between Sunday School and morning worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer
Those who do not sing, pray, work or apparently do anything but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion
Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
Staying in the Pocket
What happens to a lot of money that should be given to do the Lord’s work.
Two-Minute Warning
The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant Replay
The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.
Trap
You’re called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run
Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow
member.
Flex Defense
The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Options
The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
Blitz
The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
Message Thread
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