For me my first time was ... certainly not a disappointment, I just have NO recollection whatsoever. I was thousands of miles away from home and had just met my then-Top for the first time in real life (even though we had talked and Video-Skyped extensively before). My brain completely phased out during the spankings, I think I realized very early on what is called subspace. As absurd as it sounds I have no idea what I was spanked with: bare hand, hairbrush, something else ?? No idea! It started with bare hand but after that no recollection. And the curious thing is, after the spankings I didn't even wonder what I was spanked with, it didn't seem to matter. And for anyone who knows me, that is extremely unusual. I am very analytical and curious and always need to logically understand. But with this first spanking I have no idea how long it lasted, how it was administered, if it was hard or not. I was completely spaced out. This/these spankings were devoid of anything physical for me. I don't even know how many times I was spanked during my stay (I think 2 or 3 times). Was it a good experience? Yup, very much so, and it felt utterly natural, like something that is naturally connected to your existence.