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----- Forwarded Mess

Subject: Words with Two Meanings

Laughs for today.





Words with Two Meanings



1

THINGY

(thing-ee) n

Female. Any part under a car's hood.
Male.......The fastener on a woman's bra.



2

VULNERABLE

(vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

Female...Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.......Playing football without a protective cup.

3

COMMUNICATION

(ko-myoo-ni- kay-shon) n

Female...The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male......Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4

COMMITMENT

(ko- mit-ment) n

Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5

ENTERTAINMENT

(en-ter- tayn-ment) n.

Female...A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male......Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6

FLATULENCE

(flach-u-lens) n.

Female...An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
Male....A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7

MAKING LOVE

(may-king luv) n.

Female...The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male......Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8

REMOTE CONTROL

(ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female...A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male......A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.



AND



1

He said





She said

I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.


You wear pants, don't you?

2

He said.



She said

Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

3

He said







She said

What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?


Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

4

He said





She said

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.