Well posted. VW nailed it. The message board ref bashers are a very exclusive bunch. They are the most extreme people I have ever encountered. The people you see at the matches (coaches and wrestlers included) are very polite and thankful. I have never had a negative experience at a match.
The only bashing that bothers me is the self bashing I do when I watch video of myself refereeing, but that is mostly constructive, so I am happy to go through it.
I think BTB hit on the main reason they are this way on the message board and not in real life: seeing something happen is different than reading someone elses description of what happened. It's easy for people to read things incorrectly and then overreact, or for someone to write something poorly and cause an overreaction (I've been party to both of these scenarios ).