Posted by Lidia on 2/10/2004, 3:53 pm, in reply to "Re:In Desperate Need Of Help" --Previous Message--
67.86.74.238
Thank you to Anonymous, you're words are wise for what little info I gave. But the fact of a typo changed the way I sent my message accross. I didn't mean the word "whip" but "whimp". My boyfriend and I broke up last night, mutual I guess. It's something I'm just going to have to deal with. If it's meant to be it will be, if not then it won't. It's an easy rule to live by, and I do. But my "rule the world" phrase was more often then not interjected into arguments to shut him up. And it usually did, but not before he said I may rule but not his room. That's without point, I know. If I figure out why I just wrote that I'll let ya know. My confusion over what to do in this relationship was basically sparked from the "sudden" change in his behavior over the course of a months time. From actually giving a damn about things, caring, acting like life had meaning, not treating me like garbage, when i was still important to him and actually keeping up his part in the relationship by putting at least some effort into it to the exact opposite of it all. It got to the point where he would no longer hold me, no longer call me, not even to apt to touch me (even during sex).Why I continued the obviously dying relationship for so long,and put up with his lies and games was most likely because I was still hanging on to the person that he used to be (until recently) amd the love he used to have for me. True the signs pointed to the fact that there was another, yet there was not. True the signs point to the fact that he had grown tired of me, that could very well be. Who knows. He claims that there is just too much in his life right now, that it has nothing to do with me and that I shouldn't worry about it. Maybe that's fact, maybe not. I can't seem to care. Even though since last night I have been hovering from "doing a happy dance" and crying my eyes out. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one prone to tears. And this is the first man I have shed actual tears for since my ex fiance some years ago. During the course of this arrangment with my now ex I only cried once, and I remember perfectly where and why. But that's irrelevent. I know I need to find a way to deal with everything, and in the near future to expect a call from him (I'm talking about the boyfriend I broke up with last night not the ex fiance as not to get anyone confused)as to when he locates my ring (the monday before last when we had such a heated argument followed by some pretty passionate make up sex and then more problems. my silver bracelet went flying across the room and the last time I saw my ring was after the argument, before the sex) so I can pick them up. But then that's it, it's up to him...I need to move on. I speak from my own advice actually....
first time I'm using my own advice, when before I was only the giver of advice and was never able to use my own. There were a lot of new experiances with this man, many things learned...and an incredible feeling of being loved, even if it was short lived. As it may, this is life...and I would like to thank Anonymous again. You are good at what you do when it comes to advice, even if I may have recieved it a little too late(my own fault). Thank you....whom ever you may be.
: Hey Lidia
: You say you can't take what he does and
: that you always have to use your whip.
: Well the whip is creating tension it
: seems, it's always good to be honest and
: whip them in line once in a while but
: guys don't overly like it. Once you get
: ride of this habit it might ease things.
: There's tension building it sounds and
: this is most likely caused by him
: feeling that well maybe that hes not
: good enough in a sence your easily
: bothered by him and is trying to change
: his actions. If you don't want to loose
: him give him a break once in a while,
: remember he's human to, cut him some
: slack. As well when I first read that
: you thought that you ruled does come
: across as well, all high and mighty,
: just don't make him bow alright. jk You
: need to get ride of the tension and be
: honest with him or things will pile on
: that initial tension and can have a
: horrendous outcome. Make sure you talk
: to him and ask him what things he thinks
: you two should work on in your
: relationship. And of course minimise the
: I rule comment, might help. Best of Luck
:
:
:
Message Thread:
« Back to thread