Posted by Mr B on 9/17/2009, 7:35 pm, in reply to "Re: *Dialogue* of the week."
90.219.215.34
You know what I hate about England? Just about everything.
I mean, look at what's on tv now. How Clean is Your Mother####ing House is the best thing on. I HATE this show. But its the BEST thing on.
####ing bullshit "football" on Channel Five. #### that shit up the ass.
Cant we do better than this? I mean, this is England. Its the best country on the Island of Britain. As bad as England is, I'd still rather live here than in Wales or Scotland. Those dumb mother####ers dont even speak English.
I hate this crap country so much. Its an island surrounded on all sides by water. People always say how small England is but you couldnt fit it all in here. Not by a longshot.
The houses are total shit too. Jo sent me a peculiar email recently wherein she says something like "if you spend £325/week I assure you that you won't be living in a hovel".
Well no, shit. I'd better be living in a solid gold house at that price.
You shouldnt have to be one of the five richest kinds of Europe to afford a reasonable place to live, though. And in the US, you certainly dont need to spend a fortune on rent to get some place decent.
And its not just London. Some videos that Peter Large uploaded illustrate that the houses are really shitty even in inbred villages. #### this whole crappy country.
I'd like to take a dump on the collective head of England. Hehe...that reminds me of a crude version of the Good Times theme that I used to do as a kid. Good Times was a 1970s situation comedy about a poor black family in the Chicago housing project of Cabrini Green.
My version was something like:
Just pooping out of the window
Going on someone's head
The person calls the cops on you
Bad times!
Whoa ho hey
Bad times!
Then it went on, but I cant remember the rest of the lyrics. They werent nearly as set as that first bit, certainly. The lyrics changed a bit over time, but I think generally you just ended up running away from the police over this pooping incident. Not really inspired.
But yeah, imagine it. You're up on like the 10th floor of some dilapidated (but not yet unsafe...I think they finally closed Cabrini Green down in the early 2000s after numerous murders, but back in the 70s it wasnt so bad) and taking a dump on some dude or chick's head. Hillarious.
Even as a kid I had a good sense of humor. Defecating on somebody's head from a substantial distance. Classic. They'd be all like "whoa...what's this. OH MY GOD! ITS HUMAN WASTE! Better call the police to apprehend the culprit".
But even if they caught you, what kind of case would they have. Is your DNA in poop? I guess it would be, but I have no idea.
Anyway, yeah. Bringing this back to England then, England is shit.
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