Posted by Mr B on 8/18/2009, 8:06 pm, in reply to "Re: pollution"
90.219.215.21
Well, alright. Its mostly murder cases but I did a case recently wherein a guy was charged with carrying a "conch". Something like that. Its a British term, I think. A long stick is what I gather it to be.
Anyway, he was arrested for this and when arrested, he told the police that its a sex toy and hes going to put it up his ass.
The jury had a good chuckle when the arresting officer said this. And indeed, when the defendant took the stand he again stated that when he first saw this "conch" in the street, he thought it was a "dildo".
Later, his friend took the stand and confirmed that it looked like a "willy". Hearing such words in a formal setting like a court is funny.
A lot of amusing questions along these lines as well. One of the barristers asked "even if you thought it was a sex toy why did you pick it up? Surely, if you thought it was a sex toy you wouldnt touch it with a barge pole".
Anyway, I was with him but then they showed a video of him on the day when he was apparently carrying this "conch". His defence was that he was just waiting to find a bin to throw it in.
But yeah, he was shown on camera spitting in the face of some elderly man who wanted to come into the cafe he was standing in front of. And also throwing a can into the street like a lot of low-class people in this country are fond of doing.
This video had nothing to do with the case in my opinion, but the judge disagreed so allowed it. But after I saw that, yeah I thought the guy should be found guilty. Not because he was carrying a "conch" because I think...who gives a shit? For one thing, I believed his story more or less and for another...its a big plastic stick. Who cares?
But yeah, spitting on an old man...#### him. Put that inbred in jail, I say.
The jury was unable to reach a verdict, though so I dont know whats going on with that case. They might re-try it, but it seems such a minor thing so I dont know if theyll bother.
That was a hot jury member, though. And in the case I did today, theres some chick with some real cans. Im talking breasts here. Large ones.
I dont mind the job because its easy as hell and I can ogle the jury and the comely female barristers. Plus, the occassional moment of levity such as this dildo case.
Haha...and the judge in that case was once arguing with the barrister. The barrister wanted the defendant to say that he was arguing with the police, and the defendant basically agreed that he was yelling at them. But the barrister wanted him to expressly say that he was arguing.
The judge then said "I dont think theres much disagreement. Whether he says he was arguing or 'unhand me, you brute' isn't a major distinction" or something like that. And it was amusing to imagine this illiterate defendant (he was unable to read the oath) saying "unhand me, you brute".
Also, Ive noticed that a good number of these defendants are illiterate. How is it even possible? A real failure of society.
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