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Posted by David on October 19, 2013, 7:01 pm
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Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy!
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. (ever been to K MART?)
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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While We're here!! 219
Responses
For those who might be late comers to this board, Dory was a poster who we will remember as one who gave of herself so others survivors might smile. She always kept this board moving with her inspirational poems, jokes and riddles. Most will give Dory credit for energizing this board. She was an inspiration to everyone on this board. In that spirit, let us
continue to post in Dory’s memory so she might smile down on us and give us the same inspiration. Therefore, we have named the board, Dory's Board, in her memory. 11/11/01 (Dory was the first to call attention to the significance of 9/11, re: WTC tragedy, i.e. 911 for emergency). Let me be the first to note all the ones in the above date, indicating she was No. 1 on our board.