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Posted by Sharon from Mexico on October 23, 2009, 3:29 pm
189.141.240.228
Someone sent this mail to me the other day and I thought it was really good. It's kind of long, so if you feel up to it, go ahead and read it. I had to translate it from Spanish, so I hope it makes sense.
Forgiveness:
Forgiveness is an expression of love.
Forgiveness frees the ties that embitter the soul and sicken the body.
Most of our attempts to forgive fail because we confuse what is essential to forgiveness and resist the possibility that what we are forgiving will become smaller or forgotten.
Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is not forgetting what has occurred.
It does not mean to excuse or justify the event or bad behavior.
It is not accepting what has happened with resignation.
It is not denying pain.
It is not minimizing the events that have occurred.
It doesn't mean that you are in agreement with what happened, or that you approve of it.
Forgiveness doesn't mean giving up the importance of what has happened, or accepting the person who has hurt you.
It simply means letting go of the negative thoughts that caused us pain or anger.
We erroneously believe that forgiveness should lead us to a reconciliation with the offender.
We think that forgeivness will make us intimate friends with the offender, so therefore, we reject it.
It does not imply this at all, forgiveness is ONLY FOR YOU and nobody else.
We shouldn't wait for the person who hurt us to change or modify their behavior because most likely that person is not going to change, and sometimes they can even behave worse than before.
Forgiveness is based on accepting what has happened.
Not forgiving ties us to a person with the resentment you feel and it makes you a prisoner.
Forgiveness should be given without any expectations and without hope that something will happen.
If we hope that the offender will accept his mistake, we are hoping in vain and wasting our time and energies on an apology that won't happen.
If we are waiting for this reaction after forgiving, then we are not really forgiving from our heart because we are waiting for some kind of retribution.
We are still anchored to the problem, the yesterday, wanting to be paid for our pain.
So, we have not forgiven and what has control over our life? our ego.
An ego, that at any cost, wants to punish or get back at the offender.
Nothing or no one exists that can erase the pain caused in the past, because the past can't change.
No type of revenge will wipe away the moments of sadness we lived.
Waiting for an apology or acceptance of a mistake made, won't change what happened in the past--we are only feeding our ego, our thirst for justice.
Not forgiving is the most destructive poison to our spirit.
Forgiveness is a declaration that we can and must renew daily.
Many times the most important person we have to forgive is ourself for all the things that have happened that didn't turn out as we thought they should.
Forgiving from our heart will allow us to see the wrong doings, how they truly happened, and let us decide to let them go--go to the past.
We accept that we are apprentices!
That the lesson we have learned can help us to beat the negative curcumstances that have touched our lives.
Forgive so you can be forgiven.
Remember that the standards you put, are the standards you have to follow.
Well, that's it. Sorry its so long.
94
Responses:
For those who might be late comers to this board, Dory was a poster who we will remember as one who gave of herself so others survivors might smile. She always kept this board moving with her inspirational poems, jokes and riddles. Most will give Dory credit for energizing this board. She was an inspiration to everyone on this board. In that spirit, let us
continue to post in Dory’s memory so she might smile down on us and give us the same inspiration. Therefore, we have named the board, Dory's Board, in her memory. 11/11/01 (Dory was the first to call attention to the significance of 9/11, re: WTC tragedy, i.e. 911 for emergency). Let me be the first to note all the ones in the above date, indicating she was No. 1 on our board.