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Posted by Kasey on April 20, 2009, 11:27 pm
71.32.39.28
Here are some stupid laws that are supposedly still on the books.
It's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in New Mexico.
In Canada, It is illegal for a teen to walk down main street for Fort Qu'Appelle with their shoes untied.
In Canada, It is illegal to leave your horse in front of the Country Squire without hitching it securely to the hitching post.
In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job- for men only- called a corset inspector.)
In Connecticut, You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor in Denver.
In Woodstock, NY it is illegal to walk your bear on the street without a leash.
In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unenbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
In California, community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
In Connecticut, you are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
In Florida, women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota.
If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
In Florida, a special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
In New York, a fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in-meat freezer!
In Florida, if an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit in Sarasota Florida.
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic in Indiana.
In New Mexico, females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown in Florida.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state in Ohio.
In Florida, any form of sexual contact other than missionary position is a misdomeanor. (This is still a law. There have been several cases of people being brought up on these charges in the past 5 years alone. If the police enter a home with a warrent for some other crime and catch the 'culprits' in action, they can, and are, brought up on those charges.)
In fire-sensitive Chicago, it is against the law to eat in an establishment that is on fire.
In Michigan, a man legally owns his wife's hair.
In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
Women in Joliet, Illinois, can be arrested for trying on more than six dresses in one store.
Anyone interupting a meeting of the British Columbia Grasshopper Control Committee can be arrested.
In Indiana, bathing is prohibited during the winter.
Winnetka, Illinois theater managers can kick out any patron who has "odoriferous feet."
We're not sure what led to this one: In Natoma, Kansas it's against the law to practice knife throwing at men wearing striped suits.
It is illegal for a man to drink with a woman in an Edmonton beer parlour in Alberta.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault" in Louisiana.
In Iowa, kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
In Kentucky, by law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket in Kentucky.
An ordinance in Lawrence, Kansas, forbids anyone to carry bees in his hat while on the city streets.
In Louisiana, it is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
In Winnipeg, it is against the law to go naked in your own home if you leave the blinds up.
In Nebraska, a parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
In Owensboro, Kentucky, it is illegal for a woman to buy a new hat without her husband trying it on first.
As late as 1932, jail-breaking in Texas was not a crime if the prisoner escaped without using a gun.
In West Virginia, no children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
In Seattle, goldfish can ride the city buses in bowls only if they keep still.
In Illinois, animals can be sent to jail. A monkey served five days in a Chicago jail for shoplifting. Similarly, in South Bend, Indiana, a monkey was convicted of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a fine of $25 plus the cost of the trial.
Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
In Burnaby all dogs must be under control by 10 pm or the owners will be penalized.
A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
The Georgia town of Conyers ventures to curb speech by prohibiting utterances of the phrase "Two fried eggs and a fritter for a quarter."
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked in Massachusetts.
In Hawaii it is against the law for you to insert pennies in your ear.
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public in Ohio.
An old ordinance in Massachusetts declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio - a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
In Massachusetts mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.
In Massachusetts taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
In New Jersey it's illegal to buy ice cream after 6 pm unless you have a written note from your doctor.
In Calgary, it is unlawful to throw snowballs or set off firecrackers within the city, without the authorization of the mayor or City Council.
Georgia has a law prohibiting people from saying "Oh boy" in public.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you or holding you in his arms.
No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
It is illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.
You can't use elephants to plow cotton fields in North Carolina.
A by-law forbids anyone from striking the sidewalk with a metal object in Winnipeg.
In Los Angeles, customers in meat markets are prohibited from poking a turkey to see how tender it is.
Under California state law, it is illegal to peel an orange in a hotel room.
Connecticut has a lot of ordinances about walking: A law in Northfield forbids eating while walking along the streets. In Hartford, you aren't allowed to cross the street walking on your hands. And in Devon it's unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog in Oklahoma.
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For those who might be late comers to this board, Dory was a poster who we will remember as one who gave of herself so others survivors might smile. She always kept this board moving with her inspirational poems, jokes and riddles. Most will give Dory credit for energizing this board. She was an inspiration to everyone on this board. In that spirit, let us
continue to post in Dory’s memory so she might smile down on us and give us the same inspiration. Therefore, we have named the board, Dory's Board, in her memory. 11/11/01 (Dory was the first to call attention to the significance of 9/11, re: WTC tragedy, i.e. 911 for emergency). Let me be the first to note all the ones in the above date, indicating she was No. 1 on our board.