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I am almost a 12 year survivor and had a bilateral mastectomy at initial diagnosis. My reconstruction failed and I am a scarrred up mess.
Funny, it isn't my husband that makes me feel bad. It is my sister in law. She wants me to know that she is better than me because she has a better bust line.
I am mostly okay with that. Mainly because how she treats me is an indicator of what kind of person she is. She also wants the male friends of her young sons to think she is a babe. Maybe I see her every 5 years or so because we live on different coasts.
On to the positive. There is something freeing when I get dressed in the morning and look in the mirror. I am not dressing so that someone will look at my chest. I want to dress modest and rely on my personality and intellect. Yep. It should have been that way the whole time.
I have a woman friend who is a top executive in a big corporation. She wants to be seen for what she has to offer. She has a beautiful body, but she dresses crazy modest. If someone mentions her outfit, she never wears it again. Her intellect is what she wants people to see. She was that way before I had breast cancer. I have really admired her for her stance.
Even though I said that your feelings are valid, start having a different conversation with yourself. Please try not to waste any more time thinking about that person "trying" to make you feel less about yourself. Do not let someone steal your peace and happiness.
Thank you for feeling the freedom to discuss your situation here!