I haven't been on this site for some time. I was diagnosed with Stage 1, Grade 2 triple positive breast cancer in January 2012. I had a total left mastectomy and chemo/herceptin and finished that in the summer of 2013. I have had several surveying exams since then - MRI, PET, etc... and touch wood no recurrence.
Today I went for another surveying MRI breast. Just going to the cancer agency gives me anxiety. I brought a good friend with me which helped a lot. They had a heck of a time trying to get an IV on me. Several pokes later I had my MRI. Now I am waiting and trying to push away the "what ifs".
A lot has happened in my life since I was last here. My partner of almost 10 years and I separated. She left, not me. That was back in September 2015. I picked myself up. We remain amicable which is so important as we co-parent two beautiful boys aged 19 months and 3 1/2 years. In April 2015 our 3 1/2 year old was diagnosed with autism. He is non-verbal but lately, and thanks to intensive therapy, has started to say a few words. He is a high functioning, affectionate, and gentle soul. Two weeks ago the younger one was also diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. He is verbal and high functioning like his older brother.
Thankfully I have faith. I am not religious but I am spiritual. I keep reminding myself of that as I pray my MRI today is all clear. I guess I was wrong when I thought after cancer one gets a free pass from adversity in life. I am grateful things aren't worse - because they always could be.
I am exhausted from testing today, but really wanted to reach out, reach back here. This site and all of you held me up when I was debilitated by fear. The fear settled (though it is a bit there tonight). I think about the many friends I made here and pray for all of us every night.
Take care, stay well, stay positive,
Love a fellow cancer warrior,
Carolyn R.
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