Hi Amanda! I was diagnosed in April 2012. I definitely understand the guilty feeling for being concerned about losing breast when you should be thankful it was caught early. I went through that myself. I initially had a lumpectomy and then decided to go back and have a bilateral mastectomy. I made the decision and I do not regret it. My quality of life has not changed at all. I had immediate reconstruction and later added nipples. My breasts look really good. The key is having a really good plastic surgeon and making sure that you ask many questions. Ask about incisions..... to speak with other patients..... ask for photos and years of experience. I went to 3 different plastic surgeons before I was satisfied with the one I chose. He came with really good references and he did an outstanding job.... very few scars for me.
The roller coaster ride is inevitable. There's nothing you can do about it but go through the process. Journaling is good.... walking is good.... and praying, if you believe in that, is excellent!
Really sorry for your diagnosis but happy you found this site!
Blessings to you!