I'm so sorry to hear this. It's seems odd to me that any surgeon would refuse to remove a malignant tumor, though he may have had reasons for that. If so, I think he should have explained them to you (e.g., it's too dangerous, it's hard to get to, we don't think we can get it all, etc.). I can understand your frustration over this. I'm also sorry to hear you have lymphedema. I have it also, wore a sleeve and gauntlet for many months before I decided to bandage at night instead. Some people need to do both. I found it easier to bandage with 5 bandages rather than wear a sleeve and gauntlet all day. Not sure if that's an option for you and not sure what stage lymphedema you are. In 2010, my surgeon removed all my lymph nodes and then the path report came back that 0 were affected. Anyway, the pain in and/or around your armpit may be from lymphedema or it may be that you're still recovering. I have pain under my arm that has never gone away, but in many cases it does. Hang in there, my friend. You will get through this.
Hugs & prayers,