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You are right in the middle of everything and it does get overwhelming. I don't know why you don't have feeling in your arm because I haven't read all of the post....I can say, don't get caught up in everything you read. If there is one thing I've learned about bc, it's that everyone is different. We all have so many different factors that cause our outcomes to be what they are. Each of us have our "OMG...I really have cancer" moment. Mine was the day I looked in the mirror and had no eyebrows or lashes. I had been bald for months...that didn't bother me too much. But looking in that mirror and seeing no eyelashes or brows...was just too much. That may have been the hardest I cried during the whole process.
Just keep pressing through the process until you get to the place of complete healing.
Blessings to you!