I am currently having a recurrence and I feel just like I did the first time I was diagnoses and I am NOT enjoying any of it. I cry and whine and get moody. My poor partner puts up with me and I try to improve my head. I feel loved and appreciate it, even when I don't show it. We have been down this road several times but that doesn't make it easier.
I am having trouble walking and fall down a lot. Last week I took a header off the back steps and wrenched my back. The chiropractor wouldn't touch me because I have active tumors in my lumbar spine so I will have to try and fix it with gentle stretching exercises and heat packs. Biggest problem is I don't know which leg to limp on now since neither seems to be working well. Consciously I know this will get better but emotionally I hate it. I know exactly where you are coming from!!
I think the best you and I could do is ask for help - from you boss-see if you can get work that has limited physical function so you can let your back heal some. Most bosses will try to work out something, within you current abilities, as long as they think/know you will improve from this state and you are working on it as much as you can. Ask your oncologist advice about what you can do for your back. Maybe PT for stretching, heat packs, etc. You could also ask him for a letter that states you DO NOT have any signs/symptoms of active cancer in you spine. You could then take this letter to a chiropractor, thus having evidence that it is safe to do an adjustment on you. Bet the chiro is afraid of being sued for malpractice if you get adjusted and it screws up something. The letter will make him feel protected from a law suit.
You can ask you family, friends, and loved ones to be patient with you. Let them know you are not yet emotionally stable with this crap and you need support and love...mostly love. Those that love you will usually try to help in any way you both think might work to help you get most stability in you life.
Eat a good healthy diet. think of a rainbow. It has all the colors we can see balanced in the sky and is beautiful. A rainbow diet looks just like that - lots of colors and balanced. The only short coming of this diet is there are no blue foods and I love blue . Drink plenty of fluids, especially water. Get as much rest as you can. 1 or 2 short naps through out the day and at least 6 hours sleep at night can help you see life better then you think it is now. Try a 30 minute walk each day. Gentle frequent exercise can do wonders for your attitude and walking is one of the best exercises - especially for your back. I'm walking around the block every day with 2 canes. Looks funny as hell and hurts a bit but after a few days my back started to feel better. Try it before you discount it. If you really can't do that then think of something else that might work. Swimming is also a good idea, if you can find an indoor pool or at least a heated one. The YMCA near you might have an indoor pool and joining is fairly inexpensive. If you do join the Y do me a favor - when you fill out the application in the box where they ask how you found out about the Y put "the village people" . You could also try praying and give some of these concerns over to God. It will lighten you load. God will help as much as you let Him.
These aren't words of wisdom. They are just some of the crap I have been through and a few of the things that worked for me. Keep coming back here and asking questions and getting advice from others. I know this will get better with time, thought, and love.
take GOoD care