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Posted by Jefner on November 5, 2009, 9:36 pm, in reply to "Bad morning..."
I remember being that age and finding something to bicker about over everything my mom said . . . she couldn't do right, and I agree with all the good advice from the ladies here - it is part of the age and trying to figure out who you are as a person, and is also part of the brain (and hormone) changes taking place at this age. I always think back now and wonder - why was I so darn mad at my mom all the time?!? And I feel bad, and yes, it definitely passed by the time I got a little older - 18, 19. Course, that's a long time to wait, but just know it's not about you, and definitely doesn't mean she doesn't love you (or even like you). Of course, you are in a vulnerable position right now, so I have to imagine it hurts even more . . . sorry you must go through this. Try as best you can not to internalize it or take it personally, and, when it's called for (and if you are feeling mentally and physically up to it), do feel free to assert your right to respect and also ask for her to participate in the life of the family (i.e., this doesn't have to be just a "free-for-all" time for her just cuz she's a teenager! :o)
One other thought is that she may also be struggling with what your'e going through - she may not have the emotional maturity or vocabulary to deal with any worries or fears she may have about your battle. And, it may make her angry that you are sick and, ironically, she may become passive aggressive toward you in response. Again, if you are up to it, and when the time seems right you might consider having a talk with her (and please, I'm sorry if I'm being presumptuous here . . . you may have already done something like this). My brother-in-law has cancer and he and my sister rarely talk to their kids about it. I think they don't want to worry them, but I fear they may be reinforcing the idea that it's a taboo topic and not be creating "safe space" opportunitites for their kids to speak freely and talk about it.
Sorry, too, about your GI upset - can I assume you've tried OTC Immodium? I have this problem sometimes (although it sounds less severe than what you're dealing with) - anyway, Immodium helps quite quickly for me.
Again, hang in there Sara - we are here to support you! Sending lots of love and good energy your way!
Jenni
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