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Posted by Hope on September 22, 2009, 3:40 pm, in reply to "Sorry to be self-indulgent"
Time for counseling. if he won't go with you, go yourself. He sounds pretty blue and you sound pretty tired. Bad combination. Getting this out in the open where it can be resolved is betta than sniping (in his case), hoping to actually make some point stick. He sounds sick of his job, sick of being responsible, sick of apparently not having much fun. Lots of working males feel the same way, too. They labor under different cultural pressures than we do.
He could use some help from a professional to learn some new skills and give himself permission to relax and find fun again.
And clearly, you're making up for his loss to your children's support by adding to your own schedule and feeling resentful too. No blame at all there, either. People do things that they think might be temporary and before you know it, the time for setting boundaries has moved on and we're stuck with whatever's on our plates, which are looking more like a buffet table of junk we gotta do (what they call stinkin' thinkin' down here).
Po baby. 
So many of us have been there. Get mo help! You shouldn't have to spend any mo time in your life taking more responsibilities that aren't yours to do.
Keep us posted on how it goes should you decide to go. 
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