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Posted by angelglow58 on September 22, 2009, 10:26 am
I'm sorry to be self-indulgent, but I have to get this off of my chest this morning ...
Okay, now it’s Carolyn’s turn to whine ….
In the past 7 years, I’ve:
 Been diagnosed with breast cancer after watching my mother suffer and die from it – scared to death I wouldn’t see my daughter graduate from high school.
 Gone through a lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation all while working and doing everything I could to not burden my family.
 Kept my daughter from committing suicide and went to weekly counseling sessions with her all while my husband said he couldn’t deal with it and couldn’t stand her.
 Paid the bills when money got tough because my husband got unbearable and I wanted to keep the stress off him because he hated his job.
 Tried to find solutions to our money problems – talked to people – came up with a solution to both the money problems and my husband hating his job.
 Moved to North Carolina and started a company.
 My business venture didn’t work – my husband hated me and blamed me for everything – was mean and verbally abusive.
 All the while, I’m seeing doctors every 4 months and stressing over the test results – keeping to myself so I don’t worry and burden my family.
 I’m taking six medications that make me sweat, not sleep, ache all over and just feel yucky so I can hopefully live longer than the estimated 10-15 years for someone with my cancer diagnosis while my husband tells me he’s old and worried he’s going to have to work for too long.
 Sleep in a separate room in an uncomfortable bed so I don’t disturb my husband’s sleep.
 Have gained a lot of weight.
 I’ve had a hysterectomy, my gall bladder removed and a double mastectomy.
 Taken over my son’s bills and stressing over paying them.
 Taken over getting my son’s life back together because my husband can’t deal with it. Arranged for him to get professional help.
 Applied for and not gotten any job that I am remotely qualified for.
 Took over the cooking because my husband comes home tired – handle most every detail of the everyday living needs of the family.
 Was told I don’t dress up and look as nice as I used to.
 Have taken over virtually all the day-to-day living needs of the family: paying bills, cooking, cleaning, laundry because my husband is too tired from his stressful job and says the kids should be helping instead of him.
 Work alone all day with virtually no human contact.
 Spend my evenings with my husband who comes home and tells me he hates his job and hates Boone and no one is doing enough but him and then he goes to sleep.
There, now maybe I’ll feel better.
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