[ Post a Response | The Sublime Desire of Cigarette Smoking ]
Posted by M G F on September 7, 2009, 6:31 pm, in reply to "Emotional Conundrum"
I started to reply right after I read your post a few days ago, but decided to wait until I'd given it some thought. I've read the other replies and Marcus and i have discussed it some. So, here are my 2 cents.
I had two gut reactions:
1) Your girlfriend should not feel as though she should quit smoking because of her career shift. It is true that the medical establishment does its damndest to make those of us who work in it believe that as health care professionals we should stop smoking. I'll let you conclude what this 39 year old registered nurse who has smoked for more than a quarter century thinks about that yourself.
2) If the romance goes out of your relationship with your girlfriend just because she stops smoking, the relationship was doomed to fail. Relationships are more complex than that. I suggest you remind yourself of the other things you like about her. No a fetish isn't the same as finding a certain behavior attractive; but your partner isn't the only person who can give your that sexual experience by smoking.
Marcus and I were both well aware of each others fetish soon after we began dating and we have both used it to enhance our relationship. The fact remains that we love each other for many more, and far more subtle and beautiful reasons. That you have told your girlfriend about your fetish is commendable. Far more commendable will be you supporting her choice to quit and being equally supportive if she fails.
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