[ Post a Response | The Sublime Desire of Cigarette Smoking ]
Posted by Smokedawg
on August 30, 2009, 7:35 pm, in reply to "Emotional Conundrum"
Sadly, it often is the case that the other partner doesn't realize just how strongly a fetish can drive us, even if it doesn't drive us all the time. It's something I think my wife is only grasping now, really, after amost 12 years of marriage.
I will neither to tell you to "grow up" nor tell you that you should leave your girlfriend. Nor tell you anything else.
Except to say that many things change in our relationships. Physical injuries, stress, emotional shock, etc. If your girlfriend were raped, it could irrevocably change the nature of your sexual relationship. If you were to become paralyzed, it would also change things.
The point is that you AND she have to talk about it and decide whether there is a future.
She is giving up smoking for her career. OK, is that for appearances? For her own personal desire? To keep the people around here she will serve safe?
Do you REALLY need HER to smoke in order to ensure that your sexual fetish needs are met?
For that matter, does she need to give up smoking entirely, or can it be something she engages in from time to time to keep you happy?
These are questions only the two of you can answer together.
Fact is, if she stops smoking, that might be too much for you. Right or wrong, that's a fact of life. We break up for lots of reasons and stay together for lots of others.
But rather than meditate on whether the lack of smoking is a deathblow, FIRST make sure that smoking either has to be adbandoned entirely...and make sure that there aren't other ways for you to get your fetish met without your girlfriend smoking.
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