when i started dating my eventual wife she was the hottest woman i had ever come close to having a chance with and we clicked. i had been trying to have a relationship with a friend who was a smoker right before i got together with my wife. i had gone on a date or two with the smoker but she broke off contact and made it clear that she didnt want it to progress - i often think of her as the one that got away- i honestly was relatively desperate at the time for companionship and while my attraction to smokers was clear to me i wasnt limiting my options only to smokers. much as mick wrote, when you get into a relationship it takes on a life of its own and i wasnt going to break up a good relationship with a beautiful woman who i shared many interests with because she wasnt perfect.
she does know about my smoking fetish but certainly doesnt know how deep it runs.
i have come to the opinion that no one thing is perfect, there are trade offs in anything and you need to choose which things you are willing to trade off and which are untradable. in my list of things that are important to me in a wife she qualifies on almost all of them. i dont think the woman who fulfills all of them exists, also the priority of items on that list change over time. if i had it to do all over again, knowing what i know now, it is hard to say for sure of course but i think i would have held out longer in search of a smoker i could have a lasting relationship with since that seems like a variable i could have controlled for while combatible parenting styles is something i dont think you can perdict or control for in the same way. but knowing what you would do with hindsight does not mean you can discard the life we have together in hopes that i would find someone who is more satisfying to me sexually. i am generally optimistic to a fault but that doesnt mean i would drop the bird in the hand, especially now after years together and children etc.
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