[ Post a Response | The Sublime Desire of Cigarette Smoking ]
Posted by M G F on August 1, 2008, 1:19 pm, in reply to "Peer Pressure and Defeat?"
I meant to post this follow-up a few days ago, but haven't had time. The day after I made the original post, my friend and I decided to walk to lunch downtown. Our route was roughly the same a the route Marcus takes walking to and from his office and, as he has mentioned in other posts, includes a very steep hill that makes athletes breathe hard and smokers are completely out of breath. By the time we reached the top, the effect our smoking was clearly and vividly evident. We paused and sat on a nearby bench to allow our breathing and heart rate to return to normal. I, of course, took longer to recover than she did, but not so much longer as to be evident unless you were monitoring it. (I want to be clear, it wasn't as though we were in the throes of an acute exacerbation or were in any immediate danger, we were simply very winded) As we caught our breath, both of us lit cigarettes and she commented that both of us are now of an age and have been smoking long enough that we are beginning to feel the effects of smoking more quickly and easily than even a few years ago. I agreed, and asked if that was contributing to her feeling like she should quit smoking. Her reply intrigued me. "No, not really, if anything, it makes me more reluctant to quit. I got used to being short winded and accepted it a long time ago. it would be strange to not get out of breath. It's sort of like part of me wants to see how far I can push it before it gets in the way." WOW! I asked if she had noticed that it took longer for me to catch my breath than her, and she said she had. "You always have gotten more winded than me, even in grad school when we'd play racquetball. Of course, you also used to smoke two cigarettes to my one when wed take a break from lab work." She laughed and went on to say "I've always sort of figured that I'd quit when you get emphysema. You're sort of my early warning indicator." I told her I hoped she had a long time to wait and that i hoped her thoughts about quitting weren't some sort of warning for me. Again, the conversation moved on to other things and we continued on our way.
Shortly before she left to return to her home, I asked her about her thoughts about quitting and was not surprised when she said she doubted that she would be making any serious attempt any time soon. "I think I've just needed to get comfortable with the fact that even though I know I should quit, and even though I can tell more easily that it has lowered my stamina, I still enjoy it and don't want to quit."
I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm glad she and I got to talk about it. I have seen a glimpse of a side of an old friend I hadn't seen before.
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