[ Post a Response | The Sublime Desire of Cigarette Smoking ]
Posted by Twyla79
on May 21, 2008, 11:38 pm, in reply to "Re: The Devil Between *Your* Lips..."
Hi Vesperae and friends! Here are some more details about my smoking history.
V :"Did you find the second hand smoke to be annoying when you were younger? And if so, what happened to change and transform your reaction from one of avoidance, to one of curiosity?"
"And what was the process of learning to inhale like for you?"
T79: At first I did not like the smell of the second hand cigarette smoke, but after some time I began to enjoy it, actually breathing the smoke clouds around me in deeply. I guess it was a way of being closer to my mother and father.
Aaaahhhh mmm, The process of the inhale was sort of abrupt, tasting the toxins, pulling them in deeper and deeper, until I had accomplished a true inhale. I found inhaling to be very satisfying once I had learned the proper technique. Then came the head rush, which was even more exciting.
V: "Was it just nicotine cravings? Or was it also about wanting to experience and be a smoker as a function of your newfound Identity? Was that exciting for you, to think "Hey, I'm a smoker now. I want to be a smoker right now."?"
T79: It was both, my lungs needed to feel the smoke, my blood needed the nicotine, and my spirit and personal identity always flourished and was at home with a fresh pack of cigarettes at my mercy. I liked being and smoker then, and I still do now.
V: "Did you find smoking to be even more exciting because you always did it privately?"
T79: It Sure was, planning when to make my move, stealing away, and then at last I was about to bring that lovely morsel to my lips. Sort of a love affair. It was very exciting knowing that I was being a little naughty also. 
V: "Why did you stop?"
T79: Its kind of a funny story, I was dating a man that really did not like the whole smoking thing. I guess he put up with my smoking for some time. Ultimately, he devised a plan to make me quit. He promised me a new-used mercedes benz if I could stop for 30 days, so out of need for a better vehicle I did this and got the car. It was suffering though. When I got the car I of course sneaked cigarettes here and there at night clubs, school, etc..I did feel a little guilty.
Needless to say we are no longer together.
V: "Actually, I didn't know that. So what made you want to start again?"
T79: Well, I began smoking again because my brain and lungs were racked with desire to do it. I really missed it. I had fantasized for a couple years of doing so again. When I did do it, it felt rather cathartic, elating and erotic, to say the least.
V: "What gave you the idea to start posting videos to YT of yourself in Fetish Gear smoking and posing and dancing? And calling your original series "Smoking is BAD!"?"
T79: I had seen a couple of smoking videos on YT, and since I had been already involved with video making, I decided to go ahead and make a video of me. I guess why the title "smoking is bad" is because it is, in the best way. The fetish wear also made it worse. lol.
V: "Does the Danger make smoking more exciting for you?"
T79: Yes, it excites me. Dark but true.
Yours truly,
Twyla
of twyla79
xo
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