
Posted by Matt
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on May 21, 2008, 7:04 pm, in reply to "Re: A-B-C asey..."
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In fact, I have many reasons, some of which I have just given, to think I better just keep my little fantasy to myself.
Hell, I am willing to bet we all have things that are private from our spouses.
Tell me we don't keep things as "my space - my kick - I keep it to myself".
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It's up to you, of course. Lots of people like us keep this sort of thing from our SOs.
But ultimately, I think it's almost always a mistake. Even if only because, despite your best efforts, she's likely to find out. And then you'll have to deal with her feelings about not only the smoking fetish thing, but the hiding...and dollars to donuts says she'll be madder about the latter than the former.
She might even surprise you. But even if not, you're likely to be better off if she finds out from you telling her than if she finds out some other way.
(For the record, the only things in my life that my fiancee doesn't share are the ones she isn't interested in...and my involvement in the SF community definitely does _not_ fall into that category. Every time, in the early months of our relationship, I told her about something really embarrassing to me, her response was not disgust or even surprise, but relief and revelation of something equally embarrassing to her. We'd been together almost six months before I ran out of revelations, but each one made our life together both stronger and more interesting.)
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