I'm a bit confused, not trying to pry. But on the one hand you say you wish you had normal sexual desires and on the other hand you say are you are perfectly capable of enjoying sex with a non-smoker. Is just that you find your smoking fetish frustrating because it leaves you with unfulfilled desires or do you feel that your other desires are lacking?
Again, not to pry, but are you sure you're partner would be totally freaked out? My first girlfriend certainly didn't approve of smoking but was fairly understanding when I explained my fetish and was relatively open to the idea of smoking very occasionally. Actually it wasn't until I told her and she didn't totally freak out that I stopped feeling like my fetish was something to be embarrassed about.