Posted by Pete on August 6, 2007, 2:02 pm, in reply to "Smokers as 'submissives' to their cigarettes."

Welcome and that’s an interesting and well put together first post. Cigarettes are a potent and deadly addiction but almost every smoker when they start out thinks they will be stronger than cigarettes, that of course they will be able to quit. It’s a timeless trap passed from generation to generation. Some will quit but others will as you say fight against the shackles for the rest of their life, until indeed quite possibly cigarettes even rob them of that life. I remember one of my girlfriends friends was dating a guy who so obviously wanted her to quit ( unfortunately a common scenario) and she did seem to be doing well, then they split and lo and behold next time I see her there’s the inevitable cigarette between her fingers. Another friend who had been a smoker until she married, I would sometimes occasionally see with a cigarette at the odd social occasion, even the odd cigarette seemed to be to the chagrin of her husband, well when they too separated it wasn’t long before she fell back into her old habit, a habit that had so obviously just been hovering under the surface. It seems even when they seem to have it beat, they fall back so easily. I wonder if it’s because they managed to get a little victory over the addiction they think they can do it again and thus it makes it even more comfortable to smoke? These are women now in their thirties carrying a deadly addiction that is now starting to take it’s toll and show it’s true colours. The honeymoon is over so to speak. This I’m sure was never the plan when they started to smoke in their late teens. Since those days their characters have changed, they have become much more refined and have grown into generally very successful women and yet they have carried their smoking habits with them. The transformation from awkward teenager to attractive, sophisticated and confident women couldn’t be more obvious but for all the changes one of the things that hasn’t changed is the cigarette between their fingers. It’s a direct link to that young girl of long ago. It’s starts as flirtation, just a little fun, but yet for so many it will become a long term relationship that they will never be free of. What is fascinating is here is a young woman making a decision almost frivously that will impact on so many aspects and levels, on the life of the woman she will later become. It will impact on her: lifestyle, friends, lovers, health. But then she doesn’t need to think in those terms because there is no way she’ll still be smoking in her late twenties, let alone her thirties. Right? As for my girlfriend, well as you can imagine she is never nagged or encouraged to quit of that you can be sure. A plus point today is having a boyfriend who doesn’t go on about her smoking, but will there come a time when she wishes she had been encouraged to quit? Attractive, smart, sophisticated, in a demanding job. A woman in control of so many aspects of her life and yet she too dances to the tune of the cigarettes in her chic handbag. Indeed I’ve spent years telling her just how great she looks with a cigarette. Well a little positive reaffirmation never goes amiss to help the addiction along eh? As many women know a cigarette the perfect compliment to any outfit, goes with any pair of shoes or handbag. The fact that it is ruining their health and cutting short their life, well surely a small price to pay? And besides there is plenty of time to quit right? She herself has little areas where she tries to keep her addiction in check. It gives her I suppose the illusion of control. Tries not smoke in the car, or first thing in the morning, waits for the coffee after a meal before lighting up. If she can keep those little control points then surely she is in control of her addiction? As I say though it’s just an illusion that maybe on some level allows her to avoid such a nasty word as addiction. She also to some extent loses control of her fate. Her fate is now quite possibly in the hands of her cigarettes. She may live to be seventy five or she may be gone in her mid forties or before. Who can say? Her habit runs through so many aspects of her life and possible death. It’s best not to think about it and why think about it? Because of course she’ll quit when she’s ready. Nothing to worry about. Now and again she’ll say that’s it she’s going to quit but it never thus far has come to anything and besides she eats healthy, looks great (certainly on the outside where it surely only matters right?) why cant she have a little vice? That’s what it is isn’t it? Just a little vice and here in Spain it’s still very socially acceptable little vice. It’s not like she is doing coke or heroin and yet nicotine is one of the most addictive substances known to man and it would appear particularly so to woman. But just like their aforementioned socially unacceptable big brothers cigarettes will take her money, take her health, her stamina, her beauty and finally quite possibly her life, and all in the guise of her ‘best friend’. Cigarettes are nothing if not a master sneak thief but it wouldn’t get in the door without addiction. But it’s only a cigarette right? That’s true honey and believe me it fits between your manicured fingers just perfectly. Pete