[ Post a Response | The Sublime Desire of Cigarette Smoking ]
Posted by Lara on July 29, 2007, 10:29 pm, in reply to "Re: My sublime fantasy" Much of what you have said in your many previous posts has resonated with me. Firstly, your idea that the mind wants to exercise control over the body, to compel it to conform to the mind's will in a kind of sadomasochistic relationship is not something that I had really thought about much before, but I think it applies to me. Secondly, I find the idea of being in bondage to the addiction exciting. The idea of losing control over my own destiny to a certain extent, and of being powerless in the face of a higher power is a big turn-on. And thirdly there is the excitement of flirting with danger, even to the extent of putting my own health at risk, of doing something that most of my family, friends and colleagues don't do, of being a bad girl. I don't want to die from some ghastly smoking related disease, far from it. I would like to remain as healthy as possible, but as others have said, the risk, the rolling of the dice is enticing.
Vesperae,
As far as the fantasy goes, I suppose it comes in two parts. The first part involves my desire to start smoking again, which given my views on smoking and the fact that my boyfriend smokes, I think is all but inevitable. The second part involves my boyfriend's involvement in it. I have no idea if he has a smoking fetish or not, but my fantasy is that he does, that I know about it (without him knowing that I know), and that I fulfill his desires. In all likelihood the chances of the second part of my fantasy becoming reality are slim. It will probably just have to remain a fantasy. By the way, I derive no pleasure in watching other people smoke, but of course I love the idea of causing that excitement in others when I smoke.
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