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Posted by Freelancefagger As has been noted recently, there are many pleasures to be gained by following one's true sexual nature and serious psychological fallout from ignoring or suppressing it. But is sexual authenticity always the best choice? In my case, for instance, I have children to consider, and for their sake I've made the provisional choice to largely suppress my craving to become a full-time, unrestrained, uncloseted smoker. I'm fairly sure I'll let them in on my smoking (to some degree) in the future, but the time hasn't come yet. (At the same time, I don't vilify smoking to my kids and have shared some of my general thoughts about the habit with them.) My choice reminds me of something I once read in a memoir by a Mormon woman married to a homosexual (also Mormon) man who felt compelled to unleash his true nature and "follow the music inside him." He consulted a Mormon elder, who suggested that "sometimes, when you put away the music inside you, you find an even nobler music." (To give some context, the elder wasn't condemming homosexuality per se, but rather arguing that the husband had made his choice to have a family and had to do right by his four kids.) That's very difficult advice to follow and I don't know that I'd recommend it to any homosexual, family man or not, but the idea stuck with me (although I'm neither religious nor socially conservative). The ethics of "following one's bliss" become even more problematic, of course, if one's true sexual nature is that of, say, a predatory pedophile. While I don't think pedophiles can be blamed at all for their urges, I can't condone acting on such urges under any circumstances. So what's a guy (since it's mostly a guy) to do? To my mind, the only choices are to try to approximate the fantasy with a consenting adult, to sublimate the urges through other pursuits, or physical/chemical castration. None of them great choices from the standpoint of self-actualization, but life ain't fair. Hope this wasn't too tangential. I'm interested in hearing other posters' thoughts on the ethical/moral dimensions of honoring one's true sexual nature. It's a tough rope to dance on. F.
on July 29, 2007, 9:43 am
Hi again,
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