[ Post a Response | The Sublime Desire of Cigarette Smoking ]
Posted by Freelancefagger Just returned from a family trip to Europe, where I managed to sneak in four blissful evenings of solo smoking, three of them in the Temple Bar area of Dublin and one on the Champs Elysees in Paris (while the rest of the family was taking in the new Harry Potter movie). Reading some of the recent posts about the "why" of the smoking fetish has got me thinking about my own motivations. I may be a bit of an outlier on this board in that the element of health risk is not at the core of my attraction to smoking. Now don't get me wrong: the fact that smoking is "bad" is a great part of its allure for me. If it were healthy, it would lose all its appeal. But I don't get a charge out of contemplating the "roll of the dice" aspect of smoking. Instead, the main themes of my attraction to smoking are addiction and aggression. Some of my addiction fantasies: coming off a long flight and needing to chain smoke until I restore a proper nicotine level in my bloodstream, much to the annoyance of my family; needing to smoke while I am sick in bed with bronchitis; having a boyfriend who is addicted to cigarettes and solicitously reminding him to take his cigarettes with him whenever we go out. As you can see, these fantasies are not overtly sexual, but I get a sexual charge out of them. My aggression fantasies are somwhat more conventionally sexual: being pinned against a wall by a man who simultaneously smokes and kisses me, with no regard for my personal space or capacity to breathe; making out with a guy while we're both smoking; flirting with a woman in a gay bar and smoking in her face, which she hates but tolerates because of her attraction to me. A shrink I once spoke to about all this suggested that addiction (surrender) may have such great appeal to me because in real life I'm a bit of a control freak, having achieved most of what I set out to do by sheer force of will. By the same token, I present myself as polite and basically "nice," which may be why I gravitate toward the theme of unbridled aggression. Any others want to share some thoughts about the personal structure of their SF? F.
on July 29, 2007, 9:21 am
Hi all,
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