[ Post a Response | The Sublime Desire of Cigarette Smoking ]
Posted by Pete on March 22, 2007, 12:23 pm, in reply to "Re: So much more fun to be the 'Villain' of the piece." You must remember we’re talking about some seriously dark fantasies, that really outside of this community are not socially acceptable. Fantasizing over the possible demise of a partner in a very cruel, destructive manner is something and rightly so that most people would have trouble coming to terms with. I think in the case of Marcus that is a very exceptional case. My own girlfriend I’m pretty sure does not relish her destruction at the hands of cigarettes. She would take no joy in the failure of her lungs or heart. Indeed if anything she has that ‘healthy’ denial of so many smokers that it wont be her. A denial that in turn allows her to keep smoking without constantly mulling over the possible consequences of her habit. She knows its not good for her health, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t think its killing her or will kill her. In her mind it just wont ever get that far. Of course she knows the dangers, any smoker these days does, but unlike many here I don’t think she takes any real joy or thrill in that danger. She enjoys smoking, the sensation, the aesthetic and even the image but I don’t think she takes any pleasure at the possible fatal consequences or her declining health. That’s much better swept under the carpet and pushed away. She like most outside of the darkside community would I feel be horrified by my imaginings of her demise through smoking: heart attack ,lung cancer etc. We have some very unique shall we say perspectives that cant easily be applied outside of the community. I think many women smokers will accept a general smoking fetish in that smoking can be seen as sexy, elegant and glamorous. Hollywood itself has played that card so often down the years. Many women smokers I’m sure have bought into to that and continue to do so, but they would be hard pushed to see anything sexy as they lie on the floor with a heart attack or when the Doctor calmly tell them they have lung cancer. The flipside, the darkside if you will of those positive attributes of smoking is better left out of the equation. Also imagine those little moments I described before, imagine the burden put on her if she knew what I was really thinking? It’s such a dark area that I feel most women smokers just wouldn’t be too keen at all. I remember a few years ago there was a guy on came out and started posting on the dark side board (‘Rabeye’ it’s a pity he has long since disappeared) He posted up some very insightful and profound messages. He even came from a medical background. In one post he stated how on a drunken night he confessed his darkside to his wife and then with her reaction had to backpedal and the next day putting it down to just drunken ramblings. He also went on to say that she would often now look at him a little suspiciously if she caught him watching her smoking. The post will still be in the archives from a few years back There is also the complicated issue in our fetish that what is one day fantasy may well the next be a reality. That’s the nature of the beast with smoking. It’s a very blurry and ill defined line. Something many of us struggle with. I’m pretty sure now in her thirties my girlfriend will to some extent have emphysema. Not critical, not life threatening but starting and in some small degree there. Not fantasy but a defined reality. I think its fair to say most women wouldn’t really want their partners to take pleasure in such a thought. I can understand that. Here’s a little experiment to try that I think highlights the case: Find an attractive smoking woman and then tell her smoking suits her, it’s kind of sexy, kind of feminine. It works for her she looks good with a cigarette. Chances are you’ll get away with it. In fact she’ll probably be pleased with the compliment. No big deal (despite what many on the mainstream boards seem to think) then tell her you cant wait for her cigarettes to stop her heart or how great she’ll look hooked to a ventilator or struggling up some stairs with emphysema. When her cigarettes so indifferently just stubb out her life. I’m pretty sure you wont get anywhere near a positive reaction. In fact you’ll be lucky to get away without a slap. That’s what I’m saying. Some aspects of the fetish you can get away with but the darkside is really better left in your own thoughts or discussed on boards like this. As I say I also enjoy keeping these thoughts private or expressing them in this community. There is something I find darkly erotic in my SECRET BETRAYAL of her. I remember a long time ago (I think I posted it up) when encouraging her to smoke she said jokingly “Are trying to kill me” well the truth is I’m just helping her kill herself and enjoying the ride, she had no idea just how close to the mark she really was and that’s the way I like it. It’s the way it has to be. Pete
Thanks for reply. Here's some more of my thoughts:
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