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Posted by Regan
on 6/1/2006, 8:40 pm, in reply to "Another set of twins"
67.41.224.71
Hi, Jennifer -
I'm not a mother of two sets of twins, but I had very similar feelings with just my one set of twins. So many people say "Oh, I always wished I had twins" and I would think "well, I never wished that -- so, how can we trade...." Of course, the reality is I never really would trade now that I know that this is my life, but had I been given a choice ahead of time I don't think I would have chosen this.
I think your despair comes from knowing by experience how hard twins can be. My twins came after two singletons, and I felt despair because I knew how hard one baby was and I couldn't really fathom how hard two would be. I know you would much prefer me to leave it at that commiseration, but I feel like I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't at least try to offer some encouragement. So, allow me to say that yes, you know how hard twins can be, but you also know that you have successfully survived it -- you have that foundation to build on. And yes, you survived it in a cloud of tiredness, but you did it! And this time around you can give yourself a REAL break -- maybe before when you expected too much out of yourself, this time you'll know to go ahead and ask for help. Do you have a support system? Your extended family or some trusted sitters? START NOW to get some time for yourself (joining a gym that offers free childcare is one way) so that it is a habit once the babies come. Also, if your first twin pregnancy had any concerns, you can try to prevent those this time around (go to www.blueribbonbaby.org) -- it's always nice to have a second chance! So, sorry to break up the pity party with unsolicited advice (especially since I'm not really qualified) -- I know there are mothers of twins in this club who have two sets (come to the picnic in june) and they'll be more than willing I'm sure to give you some tips and tricks to survive -- and maybe even enjoy the journey. My personal friend, Pam Eichner, might be a good resource -- she's in Park City and not a member of the club. If you like you can email me or call me personally and give me your contact info and then I can pass it along to Pam. She's phenomenal -- she always says "I'm the mother of two sets of twins. You can't possibly be as shocked by that as I am!" I'd love to help you out after your babies come -- maybe by letting your older twins hang out at my house or just by coming by to fold some laundry for you or something. Oh, and let me recommend the book "Having Twins" by Elizabeth Noble (in case you didn't get to read it the first time around). It's such an optimistic book --
Anyways, let's keep in touch!
-- Regan
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