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Posted by Jose F Jr
on 8/27/2004, 10:32 pm
152.163.252.99
Hello,
Thank you for the space and your time if you are reading this who ever you may be. I just finished reading the message posted by Gloria and well, it scared me because I feel the same way right now, and I know it's not paranoia because I feel comfortable...I see someone standing in front of my closed bedroom door to my apartment as I type this from the corner of my eye. I am 23 years old and have had experiences such as, seeing "ghosts", "calling" alot of what people say and "telling" how they feel, for I feel it too (even if they might be in a car next to me waiting for a light to change). The only thing is... I feel like it's normal now because it's been happening sence I was about 12. My vision seems to be changing dramatically too, as if to be blurred and distant, yet everything is clear to me...like looking at life as if it were a movie until I touch an object. I feel like I am losing my mind~ ex: I woke a couple nights ago from a deep sleep, not remembering any dreams and had voices talking and echoing throughout my mind, the visions I had were many, like trying to stare at one spot on a quickly spinning Wheel of Fortune Wheel. I just put my headphones on and listened to some Mozart (yes, 23, Mozart...what ever works), I fell asleep. I also see that I think along totally different lines than most people, feeling as if I'm not even human at times (that's how different I feel, not saying I'm an alien or anything, but hey ya never know right). As any other teen now a days I admit that I experimented with drugs, not really strong ones, just like alchohol and marijuana~ from about 16-20, the catch is, all the "weird" happenings and visions stopped and hadn't seen anything more until I was clean again and going on 22...it's been a lil over a year now and it's all starting up again, they tell me it's anxioty, see a therapyst...I say theres no way I am the crazy one, theres hundreds of people in other countries shooting at each other and people flying planes into buildings... I'm just the one seeing the looks on the innocents faces in my dreams and holding my head after coming out of a dead sleep falling to my knees on the floor before grabbing my headphones and an Advil letting a classical musician put me back to sleep...well the shadow by the door is gone now, thank you for your time, a pleasure...just if you could, let me know in your opinion whether I should live life with my head held high knowing this life is so different than it seems, or check in to a padded bedroom and wait for an off guided missile to smack into the asylum from the people blowing each other up because barbarians still do exsist to this day. Thank You
Unhello
"Life is covered by the blankets of reality" Jose F Kozlowski Jr. 1998
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