And the deuce reminds me that the modern game is divided into two parts: the very long and upbeat presser before the game, and the brief interview after we get thumped.
When I see the trey, I think of the Nobby Allcock, Adolf Arkwright, and Wormscrew Mortice-Locke, the Devil’s Triangle.
And when I see the four, I think of the four geriatrics who play across the back: there was Jags, Ashley Williams, Methuselah and the late Bareth Garry
And when I see the five, it reminds me of the five wise signings we targeted but never made as we trimmed our expectations; there were actually ten of them: five were wise and were saved for the next window but one, five were foolish and were brought in, postie hastie.
When I see the six, it reminds me that in six days God made this heaven and earth yet I doubt if we’ll have a fully functional and fit side six days hence.
And when I see the seven, it reminds me that on the seventh day this past week, God rested from his great work of protecting Everton and left us exposed at the back until Spurs drilled us unto the netherworld verily, verily amen versus boys.
And when I see the eight, I think of the eight righteous persons that post here, each with a crackerjack idea on how to turn the side around.
And when I see the nine, I think of the lepers, cripples and journeymen who’ve pulled on that shirt and that nine or ten who didn't even thank us...
When I see the ten, I think of a false number nine, uplifted by slightly more than a tenth who plays wide in the middle and defends by attacking, has a large S on his shirt and can stop bullets with a single bound, or something: anyway, and will be our salvation, just like that as the old man in the fez spaketh: fair enough?
When I see the King, it reminds me that there is but one King of Heaven, God Almighty, but here on earth there are millions of them and they all creep out of the woodwork when we get shafted.
And when I see the Queen, I think of some bloke who used to drink in Yates Wine Bar in the 70’s...at last I think it was a bloke. It could of ben a Portuguese female who moved in mysterious ways.
And the Jack or Knave is the Devil who in the tin mines dwells and does evil mostly, except the days he forgets to put his clock back or when they kick of early.