Hello, sharing my problem...
Posted by George on 8/1/2011, 11:32 am
Hello, I have looked at this site every now and again over the years - I have suffered with this for as long as I can remember but I feel I haven't let it affect my life too badly. |
I used to be a severe/mild case up til my mid-teens but now definitely in the mild category... I can go in any cubicle situation given enough time and if I get going (usually need to be alone but people in cubicles or at a distance have been recent successes) at any type of urinal then someone coming in even next to me and speaking to me won't affect me. I have, over the years, tried to put myself into awkward situations - I went backpacking around Eastern Europe, never let it stop me going places generally, went to university and have gradually chosen more difficult living scenarios (first year I was in an en-suite halls, second year a house with two toilets... giving me options, third year I had to make a fuss over getting the bedroom next the toilet - although thankfully my then girlfriend knew why thanks to this site - and this year I wilfully gave up the bedroom next to the toilet and have had no issues). By doing that and in recent years joking about going to the toilet has helped me normalise and confront this problem.
I do have aims. I know the feeling of being able to go when a friend has come in and I can chat is really great and certainly is something I'd like to be able to do normally. Even though it'd be meaningless to them. I am toying with the RADAR key, since I live in Cardiff and the Millennium Stadium can be slightly awkward... I have gone at the urinals there multiple times but the disabled option at any time is more attractive somehow.
So yeah, I think a workshop is what I should do (although I am a poor student) sometime in the next year. Might it help me get over the last hump?
As an aside the worst time I've suffered with this was when I broke my leg and spent four days in hospital. I think it was the stress waiting for the operation and being very dehydrated (not allowed to drink prior to the op and I was on emergency list for a while) but I felt I always needed to wee. Using the little carton was clearly a nightmare and wouldn't give relief even when I did go. That said, afterwards when doped up on morphine and being very happy about being alive (I don't like general anaesthetic) I went immediately in the carton and was in some ways worth the anguish of the 48 hour wait. (Fortunately they stoked me up on opiates so I didn't need to poo for the entire time.)
I see the Environment Agency automatically give job interviews with people with disabilities. Since I'm looking for a job would this social phobia count if I get a prescription? Dodgy as arse I know, but if it can get me a job then maybe the years of anguish may pay off.