As far as he can remember, he has always been paruretic, since childhood. His first memory of paruretic experience was in the Maternal School (Kindergarten), which he attended from 4 to 6 years of age. He remembers well how the toilets were arranged. For security reasons, the toilet room was unique; there were one or two basins and 4 or 5 child-sized water closet separated only by dividers without doors. Nick was completely unable to urinate in that toilet room. He held his urine all the morning, until his grand-mother brought him his lunch. Then, he obliged his grand-mother to stay at the door of the toilet room in order to see that nobody could enter, and finally he could urinate. He felt ashamed, because in his opinion all his school-mate (male and female) were able to use the toilet room.
In his childhood, Nick was sometimes scolded by his mother for not being able to pee for example in an open space like a public garden or even a wood. Moreover, his father usually said “chi non piscia in compagnia č un ladro ed una spia” (He, who does not pee in company with other boys/men is a thief or a spy). His father was able to urinate whenever and wherever he wanted or needed, even in the town streets during night. He represented the Ideal True Man, who is able to urinate whenever and wherever he wants/needs; this is an Italian myth (according to Nick).
At 4, Nick was diagnosed with phimosis. His pediatrician checked his phimosis every visit, and it was unpleasant and a little painful, to decide if Nick should be operated or not. Nick now was sure: something was wrong with his penis. This increased his feeling of shame and inferiority.
At the primary school (6 to 11 years old), Nick and his school-mates had toilets only with cubicles. Nick was able to use them, with the door closed. But he remembers that once his school-bench-mate told him that he had once gone to the toilet with two other boys; they had closed inside a cubicle and they have peed one at the time, while the others were watching. Nick thought it was an invitation to do the same with him. He was scary, he said nothing, so declining any possible invitation.
At the middle school (11 to 14 years old), Nick was in an all-male class. They had cubicles as toilets, so at the beginning Nick was reassured. But when he tried to pee in the cubicle, other boys looked at him from over the dividers, and knocked violently at the door. So Nick decided not to pee at school.
In the holiday during the middle school, Nick and his parents did some nice travels around Europe with a caravan. So they slept in Motorways Parking lots or Service Stations and in camping grounds. In these sites, Nick encountered maybe for the first time the urinals, and different types of them. He sometimes tried to use the urinals, but he could not urinate. He was obliged to use the cubicles. He developed admiration and envy towards the men who could use the urinals. In the camping of Kopenhagen, Nick (14 year-old) encountered for the first time the trough urinals; they were the most scaring of all, because you can see your mate urinate and also his urine drain under your eyes. The admiration and envy towards the man capable of using urinal grew more and more. He kept thinking that he was the only male person unable to do it.
Is anyone interested in reading the continuation of Nick's story, with his victories and defeats?
If yes, I will post the continuation.
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