Hi Cpt Capricious.
From own experience: You talk about a 'second wave of self disgust' Having paruresis doesn't make you a bad person just unlucky-it sounds like it's difficult enough without you berating yourself if you can possibly avoid it.
It sounded like a real high pressure situation you described.You've probably thought of all these things but what about: a different pub-with better toilets? Assuming that you can sometimes go in pub toilets-why not go before you get less desperate? Why not try sitting down? Is there a pub nearby (to the pub you were in) you could stroll to instead?with mobile phones and smoking outside pubs it seems much more acceptable for people to wander off from their mates when they're out these days so could you take advantage of that? My general advice would be if you can find some 'coping meachanisms' that work for you (i.e.mean you can pee when you're out) don't feel it's some kind of failure to use them.And keep in touch with this site-it will help you.
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