I am sorry to hear about your problem. I too have suffered with paruresis since a young age. I have however been on 3 workshops and ever since the first one I have experienced continuing progress.
My life has been completely transformed and I would have to recommend a workshop for the following reasons-
a) intensive CBT practice, always in your comfort zone but pushing your boundaries at your own pace
b) meeting fellow sufferers immediately makes you feel more comfortable about your condition - something you won't experience talking to doctors and other professionals
c) improving your outlook and
d) planning steps for the future - from your post i can see you are very negative and stressed, which is understandable. However if you could get to 30% improvement and maintain it, wouldn't that be progress? If you could maintain that then you could envision making a further 30% progress... but you'd have to allow yourself a few set backs. The workshops have taught me so much about how our performance varies with tiredness, stress, about a whole heirachy of challenges. So nowadays if I can't go once it doesn't ruin my night, i just come back in 5 or 10 minutes. And most times I will use the urinals without a problem.
I hope this has been of some help.
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