Sorry to hear how this has affected your live so much. Have you visited here before? If not, then try and read as many posts as you can to gain a greater understanding of Paruresis. Also check out the info on the main website.
Are you aware of the workshops the UKPT run? If you go on one it will be the best thing you will ever do and you will see that there IS light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how you're feeling now. In the meantime, there is always the option to obtain cathaters from your GP. Iv used them several times and they have enabled me to go on a trip to the USA without worrying, and even out clubbing and drinking! Let us know if you need any more info on any of the above.
It all gets better from here mate!
All the best,
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