Your pain comes through loud and clear, and leaves me feeling helpless as to how to help you. You say you have seen so many counsellors etc etc that I fear whatever I may say may not be news to you. So all I can do is to explain what I would suggest to a severe case who comes to me cold.
The first thing to do is to get to a point where you can self-catheterise successfully. This is important so as to reduce the level of anxiety in your day to day life. If you know you can void reliably, some anxiety is removed.
Your reaction may be "no way can I do that". The answer given by those who use catheters is that any discomfort (and there is little if done right) is nothing compared to the pain They woudl otherwise go through in not being to void.
Modern self-lubricated disposable catheters are hygenic and easy to use. In the UK you get them on prescription.
The steps are;
1. to be shown by a nurse how to use it
2. to use one at home
3. to use one in a toilet outside home, but close by, when you do NOT need a pee.
4. same place but when you do need a pee. Being near to home, you have a fall back.
Then come on a workshop. The first workshop would not be about peeing, buddying etc; instead it would be just to get used to being in the hotel environment for a weekend; that is enough to be coping with.
Second workshop; the hotel is a known place. Low level desensitisation takes place; eg your buddy (a workshop leader) is somewhere else in the hotel (not in the room) and you have as long as you want to pee. Then you choose to say give yourself say 30 mins , then 15 mins. Then you may choose to bring the buddy closer say in the corridor. And that may be enough for the weekend.
The point i: it has to be gentle and slow, with calming support from the workshop leader.
This is what we have done here in the UK for several severe cases: it is deliberately slow, and it works. It takes as long as it takes.
I am assuming from what you have said that you are in the USA, so teh above may be theoretical.
What can we do for you?
« Back to index | View thread »