Posted by Chad on May 6, 2003, 1:15 pm, in reply to "Help...need these clips!" --Previous Message-- Those all sound good!!
: Doing my best quick scan of the clip listings
: these are the ones that stood out as ones
: I might like.
: If anybody has all/most of these and can burn
: them to a mp3-cdr I would be willing to
: either trade you a cd of Phil clips (I
: have approx 30) or pay you for postage and
: for your time and trouble.
: Thanks.
:
: -------------------------------------------------
: 1...Steve Bosell wore a new pair of plastic
: and leather (pleather) pants to Bon Jovi
: concert, where he bent over and the back
: of his leather pants split from beneath
: the belt to the zipper (under the
: bulge-scrotal area). Steve's ass and
: genitalia were exposed! People pointed and
: laughed! Steve is considering suing Jeans
: Discount Pleather (where he bought the
: jeans), his marriage counselor, Bon Jovi,
: and his wife! Says his wife; "I don't
: want to have sex with you because I've had
: to stare at your junk all night and it's
: shriveled up because of the cold".
: 2...Steve Bosell has a pending case against
: Woman-to-Woman magazine for alienation of
: affections. Steve is also considering
: suing his wife for slander. Steve's wife
: did a quiz in the July issue, which Steve
: feels makes him a fool (he found it on the
: night stand). The questions were: On
: average, how long does foreplay with your
: husband last (4 minutes); Have you ever
: faked an orgasm (Yes!); What phrase most
: often do you use during lovemaking (ouch,
: you're on my hair); on a scale 1 to 10,
: how would you rate your husband's
: lovemaking: 10 tiger, 9 stallion, 8 lion,
: 7 donkey, 6 rooster, 5 pig (5); do you
: ever experience vaginal dryness (yes). She
: used to call me her big strong studly
: stallion when we made love, and now I'm
: New York minute pig. God Damn, that hurts.
: 3...Steve Bosell - has a 16 year-old son
: who's very social - Steve's upset because
: his son has all these girls coming over
: and calling up, and Steve's stuck with his
: wife of 14 years, who's had 4 kids (its
: not like he's coming home to Yasmine
: Bleeth). When Steve sees his son, he see
: things he's missed. He also feels his son
: is rubbing his face in it. Steve says,
: "All I need is a little bit of tail,
: and everything will be OK". Then..
: John called in. He was diagnosed as
: paranoid schizophrenic 5 years ago and
: he's had a relapse. He's had some
: hallucinations where he sees his own body
: in front of him, sometimes sees himself
: transparent. It turns out, he's looking at
: himself in a mirror or in glass.
: 4...Steve Bosell once again thinks his wife
: is cheating on him. Why? Well, she has
: been giving signs that something is going
: on behind his back. She has been
: "doing things with her tongue",
: she got a jar of "Astro Glide",
: and has lost weight.
: 5...Steve Bosell gave a party over the
: weekend, about 30 people. He spent $8,000
: on irrigation sprinklers and $250 of food
: and drinks at CostCo. No beer as he's a
: recovering alcoholic. He has a brand new
: rain tower, a set of rain trees, a
: portable sprinkler that goes front to
: back, the new rainbirds, a flexible
: noodlehead sprinkler, a slip and slide (it
: has 24 zones, computer controlled,
: anti-flood system, extensive drainage
: everywhere). He brought the people to run
: thru the sprinklers (it was a fond memory
: from when he as a kid. Nobody wanted to
: start, so Steve took the lead and pranced
: thru the sprinklers. His neighbor leaned
: over the fence with a bottle of New Castle
: in one hand a bottle of Aboslute in the
: other and said "You gotta be kidding
: me Bosell, I got a pool and a fully
: stocked bar. Any of you people want to put
: down the punch and come over to a grown-up
: party, you're all welcome" - 20 of
: the 30 people left, Steve went to the
: bathroom, and the last 10 left. He's suing
: the neighbor for $20,000 for alienation of
: affection of his guests, and suing CostCo
: for $5,000 because his lawyer thinks
: CostCo should have had a sign saying
: "if you're a recovering alcoholic and
: you're serving soft drinks at a party,
: your guests may leave". It's a
: product liability issue. Steve asked a
: woman "Why won't you spread over my
: noodle?"
: 6...Steve Bosell, who likes western wear (he
: was wearing cowboy boots with sterling
: silver spurs, chaps, a badge, a leather
: vest and had a squirt gun in a holster),
: had an event in an Olive Garden that has
: him considering suing. He went to the
: bathroom for an extended time for a bowel
: movement, and a toilet tissue got caught
: on his left spur, and had about of a roll
: of toilet paper dragging behind him as he
: left the bathroom (some of it was brown
: streaked). People in the restaurant were
: laughing at him, and his wife and son were
: leaning over and pounding their fists on
: the table with tears in their eyes. A
: busboy came over and asked, "having
: some intestinal distress sir?" He was
: made a fool of in front of his family. The
: daughter asked, "daddy go poo?"
: Steve is finding fault with Olive Garden
: and Charmin (if their toilet paper was as
: soft as they say it is, it wouldn't have
: stuck to his spurs). Later we found out
: when Steve left the bathroom, he was
: walking bowlegged whistling the theme to
: "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"
: (his wife finds it sexy), and tried to
: shoot the toilet paper off the spur with
: the squirt gun.
: 7...Steve Bosell's mother has died and he had
: her cremated but when he went out to the
: desert to bury her, a wind broke out and
: scattered his mothers ashes all over the
: desert and his testicals! Because she was
: not properly buried, she is now haunting
: Steve's house (flushing toilets, taking a
: leak, etc.)
: 8...Steve Bosell had been having cyber-sex
: with what he thought was a woman on the
: internet. Steve's wife was pregnant and he
: just couldn't deal with her body so he
: carried on the cyber relationship for
: about a month. But he then found out the
: supposed woman was actually his neighbor
: Roy Hutchins. Roy was using the alias
: "bonemaster" and gave Steve the
: best month of his life! So Steve is
: considering suing his wife since he told
: her not to get pregnant in the first
: place. Now every time Steve sees his
: neighbor Roy (who he called
: "piledriver") changing spark
: plugs on his car, he reminisces about
: their great times!
: 9...Steve Bosell is suing Oscar Meyer for
: making their foot-longs in a sexual shape
: after he admits to "loving the
: dogs" (or was it "dongs"?)
: at a barbecue
: 10...R.C. Collins doesn't want ABBA to
: reunite -- but his mother would very much
: like to reassemble the group Starland
: Vocal Band of "Afternoon
: Delight" fame. (Or, as he says, The
: Vocal Land Band, who did "Ride My
: Rocket Tonight.")
: 11...Phil Hendrie does Jim Rome
: 12...Dressed up in a turkey outfit (and
: joined by Bud Dickman), a humiliated Phil
: Hendrie does a live remote from Jim Seals'
: Auto Farm -- where you'll get a free gift
: if you're a redhead and can prove it.
: 13...Jim Rome guests hosts. Jim does all of
: Phil's voices. Margaret Gray checks in on
: the scab referees. R.C. Collins calls, but
: gets buzzed out. Rudy Canoza gives Rome a
: sample of his "lalala", but gets
: buzzed after referring to the
: "suction cup." Harvey Wireman
: gets buzzed for stuttering. Dr. Jim Sadler
: tries to take a call. Mavis Leonard also
: check in.
: 14...Trying to be creative, Larry Grover had
: his daughter and friends playing "pin
: the nuts on the donkey" at her
: birthday party. Then they had a few more
: games like "The Jenna Jamison Game (a
: porn star)", a pinyata but the
: pinyata was a plastic baby, and other fun
: things for 7 year olds!
:
:
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