Posted by Steve's lawyer 1...Steve Bosell wore a new pair of plastic and leather (pleather) pants to Bon Jovi concert, where he bent over and the back of his leather pants split from beneath the belt to the zipper (under the bulge-scrotal area). Steve's ass and genitalia were exposed! People pointed and laughed! Steve is considering suing Jeans Discount Pleather (where he bought the jeans), his marriage counselor, Bon Jovi, and his wife! Says his wife; "I don't want to have sex with you because I've had to stare at your junk all night and it's shriveled up because of the cold". 2...Steve Bosell has a pending case against Woman-to-Woman magazine for alienation of affections. Steve is also considering suing his wife for slander. Steve's wife did a quiz in the July issue, which Steve feels makes him a fool (he found it on the night stand). The questions were: On average, how long does foreplay with your husband last (4 minutes); Have you ever faked an orgasm (Yes!); What phrase most often do you use during lovemaking (ouch, you're on my hair); on a scale 1 to 10, how would you rate your husband's lovemaking: 10 tiger, 9 stallion, 8 lion, 7 donkey, 6 rooster, 5 pig (5); do you ever experience vaginal dryness (yes). She used to call me her big strong studly stallion when we made love, and now I'm New York minute pig. God Damn, that hurts. 3...Steve Bosell - has a 16 year-old son who's very social - Steve's upset because his son has all these girls coming over and calling up, and Steve's stuck with his wife of 14 years, who's had 4 kids (its not like he's coming home to Yasmine Bleeth). When Steve sees his son, he see things he's missed. He also feels his son is rubbing his face in it. Steve says, "All I need is a little bit of tail, and everything will be OK". Then.. John called in. He was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic 5 years ago and he's had a relapse. He's had some hallucinations where he sees his own body in front of him, sometimes sees himself transparent. It turns out, he's looking at himself in a mirror or in glass. 4...Steve Bosell once again thinks his wife is cheating on him. Why? Well, she has been giving signs that something is going on behind his back. She has been "doing things with her tongue", she got a jar of "Astro Glide", and has lost weight. 5...Steve Bosell gave a party over the weekend, about 30 people. He spent $8,000 on irrigation sprinklers and $250 of food and drinks at CostCo. No beer as he's a recovering alcoholic. He has a brand new rain tower, a set of rain trees, a portable sprinkler that goes front to back, the new rainbirds, a flexible noodlehead sprinkler, a slip and slide (it has 24 zones, computer controlled, anti-flood system, extensive drainage everywhere). He brought the people to run thru the sprinklers (it was a fond memory from when he as a kid. Nobody wanted to start, so Steve took the lead and pranced thru the sprinklers. His neighbor leaned over the fence with a bottle of New Castle in one hand a bottle of Aboslute in the other and said "You gotta be kidding me Bosell, I got a pool and a fully stocked bar. Any of you people want to put down the punch and come over to a grown-up party, you're all welcome" - 20 of the 30 people left, Steve went to the bathroom, and the last 10 left. He's suing the neighbor for $20,000 for alienation of affection of his guests, and suing CostCo for $5,000 because his lawyer thinks CostCo should have had a sign saying "if you're a recovering alcoholic and you're serving soft drinks at a party, your guests may leave". It's a product liability issue. Steve asked a woman "Why won't you spread over my noodle?" 6...Steve Bosell, who likes western wear (he was wearing cowboy boots with sterling silver spurs, chaps, a badge, a leather vest and had a squirt gun in a holster), had an event in an Olive Garden that has him considering suing. He went to the bathroom for an extended time for a bowel movement, and a toilet tissue got caught on his left spur, and had about of a roll of toilet paper dragging behind him as he left the bathroom (some of it was brown streaked). People in the restaurant were laughing at him, and his wife and son were leaning over and pounding their fists on the table with tears in their eyes. A busboy came over and asked, "having some intestinal distress sir?" He was made a fool of in front of his family. The daughter asked, "daddy go poo?" Steve is finding fault with Olive Garden and Charmin (if their toilet paper was as soft as they say it is, it wouldn't have stuck to his spurs). Later we found out when Steve left the bathroom, he was walking bowlegged whistling the theme to "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" (his wife finds it sexy), and tried to shoot the toilet paper off the spur with the squirt gun. 7...Steve Bosell's mother has died and he had her cremated but when he went out to the desert to bury her, a wind broke out and scattered his mothers ashes all over the desert and his testicals! Because she was not properly buried, she is now haunting Steve's house (flushing toilets, taking a leak, etc.) 8...Steve Bosell had been having cyber-sex with what he thought was a woman on the internet. Steve's wife was pregnant and he just couldn't deal with her body so he carried on the cyber relationship for about a month. But he then found out the supposed woman was actually his neighbor Roy Hutchins. Roy was using the alias "bonemaster" and gave Steve the best month of his life! So Steve is considering suing his wife since he told her not to get pregnant in the first place. Now every time Steve sees his neighbor Roy (who he called "piledriver") changing spark plugs on his car, he reminisces about their great times! 9...Steve Bosell is suing Oscar Meyer for making their foot-longs in a sexual shape after he admits to "loving the dogs" (or was it "dongs"?) at a barbecue 10...R.C. Collins doesn't want ABBA to reunite -- but his mother would very much like to reassemble the group Starland Vocal Band of "Afternoon Delight" fame. (Or, as he says, The Vocal Land Band, who did "Ride My Rocket Tonight.") 11...Phil Hendrie does Jim Rome 12...Dressed up in a turkey outfit (and joined by Bud Dickman), a humiliated Phil Hendrie does a live remote from Jim Seals' Auto Farm -- where you'll get a free gift if you're a redhead and can prove it. 13...Jim Rome guests hosts. Jim does all of Phil's voices. Margaret Gray checks in on the scab referees. R.C. Collins calls, but gets buzzed out. Rudy Canoza gives Rome a sample of his "lalala", but gets buzzed after referring to the "suction cup." Harvey Wireman gets buzzed for stuttering. Dr. Jim Sadler tries to take a call. Mavis Leonard also check in. 14...Trying to be creative, Larry Grover had his daughter and friends playing "pin the nuts on the donkey" at her birthday party. Then they had a few more games like "The Jenna Jamison Game (a porn star)", a pinyata but the pinyata was a plastic baby, and other fun things for 7 year olds!
on April 16, 2003, 11:59 am
Doing my best quick scan of the clip listings these are the ones that stood out as ones I might like.
If anybody has all/most of these and can burn them to a mp3-cdr I would be willing to either trade you a cd of Phil clips (I have approx 30) or pay you for postage and for your time and trouble.
Thanks.
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